Come to my heart - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

shadow of the fall
Member

since 2001-08-13

Posts 83
Indiana

0 posted 2001-08-18 10:42 PM

(I'm new here and a dear sweet friend is helping me write poetry and I love it! Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!)

Come to my heart
before it closes
for there’s a portal
that you can find
and when you find it
enter in!
It’s so revealing
I’ve been concealing
the things I feel
and feeling lost
through time and space
in your expression
there is a blessing
that I once had
before the storms…
the storms
that haunt me
and left me wanting
the more of you
the more of you
until the day!
you lay beside me,
and hold me closely,
to touch my lips
and say you know
you know my love
It’s till forever
and then forever
it carries on
and carries on
throughout the rainbows
and all the tides
when they are crashing
forever lifting
our love in song.

Oh darling, there’s a
secret place
where we have risen
to newer vision
and in that love
and in that love
we know a passion
that keeps on shining
and it’s reminding
me of all your love,
of all your love.

Karen

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

1 posted 2001-08-18 11:49 PM

I liked the way you used repetition in this, it read very smoothly.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

2 posted 2001-08-19 01:08 AM

you did good! Write what I cannot at this time....write from yourself and hold nothing back..I'm proud of you!

" I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis"

Kay

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

3 posted 2001-08-19 01:30 AM

Hiya Shadow, this poem just flowed sooooo beautifully and the expression touched my heart...

I loved every word and I look forward to reading more of your poetry...

*~coco~*

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2001-08-20 06:28 AM

This would be beautiful put to music Shadow, very flowing, much enjoyed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2001-08-20 03:41 PM

Kit has read my mind. . . I thought about music as I read this. . . well done. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Blaec
Member

since 2001-04-23

Posts 130
The Sunshine State

6 posted 2001-08-20 04:10 PM

This was a beautiful write.
The flow and the repitition were captivating!

Kris

Gemini
Senior Member

since 1999-12-15

Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA

7 posted 2001-08-20 04:20 PM

Very sweet words and I agree with everyone else, flowed very eloquently. Nice write and welcome!

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

8 posted 2001-08-20 04:22 PM

My first time to see your work. welcome to Passions and I look forward to more of your work.

http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/interloper.htm

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

9 posted 2001-08-20 06:34 PM

I don't know who is helping you or how much but I do know that this is very very good. It has a smooth flow about it and it reads wonderfully aloud. I know...cause I did it and it sounded wonderful. No it ain't cause of my voice either...believe me. Great write.

shadow974
Senior Member

since 2001-06-21

Posts 636
Michigan

10 posted 2001-08-20 06:40 PM

Good write
, It was captivating.

Throw your heart out in front of you
And run out to catch it.
ARAB PROVERB

shadow of the fall
Member

since 2001-08-13

Posts 83
Indiana

11 posted 2001-08-22 01:03 AM

thanks guys for the encouragement, cause I don't know what I'm doing! this is fun though...just reading and learning....

Karen

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.