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Open Poetry #15
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poetsguild
Member
since 2001-08-12
Posts 85
Florida

0 posted 2001-08-17 09:45 PM


The time of splendor

Out of the warm ground he dreamed her -
heard her murmur in the susurrating leaves;
smelled her in the fragrant jasmine;
felt her ever-changing motions
in the river’s swirling spume.
He stretched out to embrace her regalia;
fell face forward into the shining grass.

He saw how light pressed
gilded kisses upon the blades -
how they yielded to its weightless touch;
the green rebounding into his retina.
Beyond density of rooftops and trees,
he inferred the backs of things
and contemplated profiles;
not seeing or feeling the frozen other,
the side which did not smile back
through the distorted lens.
A vibrancy tucked away
to surprise the finder.

The premise on which he stood
was not crusted and heavy
but soft as ploughed earth
awaiting his seed;
etched by rivulets of yearning.
All richness bloomed before his awe.
Wisdom’s plumes rippled in the breeze.
Discontent ripped from his garden
and acquiescence planted
in the vacant lot; it grew into a canopy
bestowing grace upon his head.

Finally all things became a metaphor
for the love springing from him.
Life’s sorrows were love’s sorrows.
Life’s joys - love’s joys.
The fire that burned away
night’s deepest passions
kindled the pendulous hope
that swayed his universe -
as the dream unfolded.



© Copyright 2001 Melissa Songer - All Rights Reserved
darabeth
Junior Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 33

1 posted 2001-08-17 09:52 PM


I just love your style poet!As always I enjoyed the read.

         Dara Beth      

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-08-18 05:30 PM


well done. . . I like the line "all things became metaphor. . . " because is that not what we as poets strive for?  For everything in our life is just a poem waiting to be written. . .

great job. . .  

---------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-08-18 08:01 PM


All richness bloomed before his awe.
Wisdom’s plumes rippled in the breeze.
Discontent ripped from his garden
and acquiescence planted
in the vacant lot; it grew into a canopy
bestowing grace upon his head.

Finally all things became a metaphor
for the love springing from him.
Life’s sorrows were love’s sorrows.
Life’s joys - love’s joys.
The fire that burned away
night’s deepest passions
kindled the pendulous hope
that swayed his universe -
as the dream unfolded.
==================================

Once again your imagery, vocabulary and verbiage impresses.
this is excellent in its high level of poetic intelligence and also in inspire and intend.
very well done, I will continue to seek out your work as posted.
jm

Feels like Im dancin with truth and wisdom
Precious rhythm you are my guide
These days are sacred, my heart is humble
Oh warrior show me thy light

poetsguild
Member
since 2001-08-12
Posts 85
Florida
4 posted 2001-08-19 09:46 AM


Thanks Dara Beth. I'm certainly pleased to have you as a reader.


Interesting, Sven, that the line you picked to comment on was the line that initiated the poem. I often write the last lines of a poem first, then retrofit the rest (or as my dad used to say, bass-ackwards) Thanks!


I appreciate your comments, as always, Janet Marie. Thank you for taking the time to stop by.

[This message has been edited by poetsguild (edited 08-19-2001).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-08-19 11:53 PM


came back to put in my library.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2001-08-20 08:56 AM


very nice... very nice indeed.... enjoyed the style and the form...along with the vocabulary used..make this a very good piece..


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2001-08-20 09:15 AM


I like your work - nice imagery - nice innuendo...
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2001-08-20 09:20 AM


Well written poetry!  A joy to read. I echo Janet's reply whole heartedly!
Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

9 posted 2001-08-20 09:21 AM


Beautiful lines...

quote:
The premise on which he stood
was not crusted and heavy
but soft as ploughed earth
awaiting his seed;
etched by rivulets of yearning.
All richness bloomed before his awe.
Wisdom’s plumes rippled in the breeze.
Discontent ripped from his garden
and acquiescence planted
in the vacant lot; it grew into a canopy
bestowing grace upon his head.



poetsguild
Member
since 2001-08-12
Posts 85
Florida
10 posted 2001-08-20 07:04 PM


Nan, ethome, Cpat Hair, Janet Marie, and Decaflame.

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to read and comment. There's so many fine poets here, I am pleased to attract some readers.

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