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Open Poetry #15
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poetsguild
Member
since 2001-08-12
Posts 85
Florida

0 posted 2001-08-15 06:49 PM




Interminable unfurling,
the empty husk still clinging
to the temporal edifice;
waiting for the liquid
veins to congeal and
extend, fanning out the  
papery hue-filled wings.
The cobalt space gathers
florescence to explore,
rainbows to belay.

In the final hour of
metamorphosis, the
anticipation is sharpest,
cutting through the
remnants of our hopes,
razors skimming across
the rind’s outer layers.
Errant breezes flicker
the emergent projections,
stridently questing.

It’s what we don’t get
enough of that drives
our lusts; desperately
striving to break our hearts.
Perspective convergences
flaunt our limitations,
our eagerness to underscore
and vivisection our lives.
It is not as if the struggle
has made us any stronger.

Comprehending these
novel sensations, realizing
that we have just attained
another rung of vulnerability.
Invited more catastrophe
into our world, opened up
our hearts, stilled the
criticisms.  And for what?
More tears shed while lunging
forward, the scenery blurring.


This yearning permeates us,
transfixes the clarity while
the conflagration, the holy fire
of passion, encompasses.
Insolent in our radiance,
we brandish our aspirations,
forgetful of the yawning pit
ready to drag us downwards.
If this burning does not cease,
we shall all be ashes soon.


© Copyright 2001 Melissa Songer - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-08-15 06:51 PM


wonderful language use here..and the message quite well delivered... I think I am going to enjoy your posts... I sure did this one...


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-08-15 07:28 PM


It’s what we don’t get
enough of that drives
our lusts; desperately
striving to break our hearts.

Perspective convergences
flaunt our limitations,
our eagerness to underscore
and vivisection our lives.
It is not as if the struggle
has made us any stronger.

Comprehending these
novel sensations, realizing
that we have just attained
another rung of vulnerability.
Invited more catastrophe
into our world, opened up
our hearts, stilled the
criticisms.  And for what?
More tears shed while lunging
forward, the scenery blurring.


This yearning permeates us,
transfixes the clarity while
the conflagration, the holy fire
of passion, encompasses.
Insolent in our radiance,
we brandish our aspirations,
forgetful of the yawning pit
ready to drag us downwards.
If this burning does not cease,
we shall all be ashes soon.
===============================

Absolutely amazing...
Ive read this 3 times...and I dont know which impresses me more...
the imagery is awesome...the vocabulary makes me feel poetically inadequate *smile*
the employ of metaphor and elemental comparisons gave this such an edge of intelligence..(as did the vocab)
and the emote aches off the page...
very very impressive writing...
you had me from the title  
this one goes in my library so that I may learn from its gifts.
and again...welcome.
jm

Feels like Im dancin with truth and wisdom
Precious rhythm you are my guide
These days are sacred, my heart is humble
Oh warrior show me thy light

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
3 posted 2001-08-15 09:47 PM


'Comprehending these
novel sensations, realizing
that we have just attained
another rung of vulnerability.
Invited more catastrophe
into our world, opened up
our hearts, stilled the
criticisms.  And for what?
More tears shed while lunging
forward, the scenery blurring.'

I second that...this is extremely impressive and some serious imagery...I will definitely keep this to read a few more times...excellent work!!

sp  

can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...

poetsguild
Member
since 2001-08-12
Posts 85
Florida
4 posted 2001-08-16 07:11 AM


Thank you, Cpat Hair, Janet Marie, and snowpants. I appreciate your comments (in fact, I'm a bit overwhelmed by them).

MS

citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade
5 posted 2001-08-16 01:16 PM


some very strong metaphors and images, really enjoyed this one.

shadows flicker sweet end tame
dancing like crazy mourners" magazine


Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
6 posted 2001-08-16 04:33 PM



You shouldn't be overwhelmed by the compliments, with writing like this, you are going to attract the best readers...

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2001-08-16 06:33 PM


PoetsGuild~
Quite powerfully image-laden~

'The cobalt space gathers
florescence to explore,
rainbows to belay'


Most enjoyable~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                   noles1@totcon.com            

poetsguild
Member
since 2001-08-12
Posts 85
Florida
8 posted 2001-08-16 08:25 PM


Thank you for stopping by and commenting, citizenx, Lady In White, and Marge Tindal.
rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
9 posted 2001-08-18 07:51 AM


Wonderful bursting forth from the innocence of struggle, just to find the world a tougher place to be. But the beauty is still, in the trying! Fabulous write. Extremely enlightening and strong. More!
Sincerely,
Regina

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