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She Waits
| Open Poetry #15 |
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She Waits |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone 
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She waits for love at gates of steel with locks rusted from long disuse she sits beneath the willow tree too scared to climb to see the views She waits for he who never comes with patience born of tragedy she keeps her dreams close by her side whilst many pass who do not see She waits and listens to the wind it speaks to her in private words she keeps this knowledge to herself as she’s the only one who heard. She waits so long she falls asleep and as she does, he then arrives she misses that for which she yearned as peacefully asleep, she dies. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sandra - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
oh.......this is beautiful in it's tragedy.....midieval, and passionate. Beautiful mystical writing as only you can do, and always with the power to move my heart.....  The road goes on forever, and the stories never end... |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
Her dreams did come true and she wasn't ready for them, perhaps they are together some where, some how. Throw your heart out in front of you |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Sunny is right, this is medievil and wonderful.... " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Just the words I was about to use...medieval is correct.... I would like to see you expound on this one... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this is a bittersweet beauty... such an aching story...shades of Shakespeare tragic lovers. well done rhyme flow and imagery great writing Sandra wont you sing me your poetry |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
she is not dead. . . she still has life within. . . very sad my friend. . .very sad. . .  ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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wpwpoet Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 99 |
How tragic! and yet I have lived that day, as asleep I dreamed and thus my dream passed away; the irony... |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
This is soooo beautiful.....heartfelt And yes......medieval.....that sense of medieval tragedy as all who commented before me said...... A very well done piece Sandra......I simply loved it though I felt its sadness so deep down within..... Thank you ************************ [This message has been edited by MyEnchanted_Melody (edited 08-06-2001).] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Though this is a tragic piece it is filled with haunting beauty and you penned it in a superb manner and I truely loved it. The flow is outstanding and it reads aloud very nicely which is always a good sign. |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
And at a later time, a later age, a later plain..the magic happens..for fate cannot be blocked...very gentle smile |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Maybe it's my warped sense of dark ironic humor, but the ending caught me by complete surprise and I actually "chortled" a little, though there is nothing funny about this piece. I don't see "medieval"; I see symbolism, and I empathize with some of those emotions and metaphors. Personally, though, I'd have given it a better ending (I'm a sucker for a happy ending -- or at least one with a little hope...). Otherwise, this was one sad little depiction which makes me want to teleport over there and tell her, "Hey! There's MUCH more to life than this... let's get out of this place!" -MVS -MVS "When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said." |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
The hopeless romantic in me says "So sad..  " but it's a beautiful poem! The rythym /flow is perfect and really complements the words. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Oh, how said!!! Makes me think of a song, a favorite one from when I was in the 7th grade...All I Have to Do is Dream the line..."I'm dreamin' my life away.' this made me think, I'm 'waitin' my life away. that's what waiting can do...but sometimes ya just gotta and you gotta keep hope. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I loved this piece. There are a few ways to interpret it. However, the bottom line is that "if you snooze you lose", there is always another train  Great job on this one, had to save it. ~ To see real beauty you must look with your heart ~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Sometimes we wait so long that our feelings seem to be dying...James |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Thanks to all who read and gave their thoughts on this poem. Its really meant the way it sounds, that if you wait too long,it may be too late, and your life will have passed by already. And if your realize it too late, its not a good thing. Mark..no laughing at my sad poems Sandra |
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