Open Poetry #15 |
Devil's Wave |
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Devil's Wave Oh, wind that churns the sea at night Please fill my sail with gusts of might And let my raft push swiftly on Before the crimson light of dawn Please guide me east across the bay While stars atop the water play On billowed wing propel me far Upon the footsteps of a star Defiant waves, come slap my raft. With foot and arm to hold the craft and father’s pride upon my face, Please blow me to the fisher’s place Lead me on to devil’s wave The demon of the fisher’s grave And let me live in victory For one who vanished in the sea Long ago it shook the night Of little boy who clutched on tight To fallen sail and broken mast And stayed atop the little craft The wave that took my father down To ocean’s depth to wear his crown Had tried to pull me far below Where honor would not let me go And so against the ocean’s wish I held on to the netted fish And in the red of rising sun Went back the path from which I’d come Come devil wave, Come test my skill! Now I, a man, to test your will! Inside my heart the ocean’s roar Incites a fear I knew before I'll load my net with sea’s sweet flower Of bounty fish at daybreak hour And curse the fear my eyes have shown And in the hearts who wait at home On crystal bay on raft’s embark In starlight’s stream that lights the dark Through winds of fear I hear a voice That makes a fisher’s heart rejoice Now, little boy, don’t fear, my son My honor you have bravely won And looking up through tropic sea I see the man who honored me Sail on, my son, to places far Go east to where the fishes are Your childhood fears will all be gone Before the crimson light of dawn Elizabeth Santos |
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© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, An excellent work and a delight to read. Thank you for poesting. Sy |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
what a very cool poem ... I love the storyline and theme that runs thru this... the imagery is masterfully done..as is the cadence.. your writing always satisfies my craving for rhyme, and this was a melodic treat to read aloud. excellent Liz...as always..excellent slow burn ... |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
what they said, 100% very enjoyable to read...intense, exciting, not one bit of forced rhyme, impeccable flow great story! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Lizzie~ This is just a wonderful piece. You always deliver the goods ... and this is VERY VERY GOOD ! I so enjoyed it. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
You've told a great story with flawless rhyme and rhythm - I enjoyed it very much. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
perfection in verse.. " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow - Liz, as aways your talent leaves me in awe, this is the epitome of perfection Melissa~ |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
It's always nice to see your poetry, I especially like this one. Not only the craftsmanship of the poem but the subject also. Gloom |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
An absolutely beautiful poem filled with courage, love, honour and then freedom. You have been gifted by the words of rhyme and the lines of verse. I sat there on your raft defying the sea, meeting the ghost of the past and embracing your freedom. I loved it. Rick |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I like this one lots, Liz... I feel shades of the Old Man & the Sea... You give Ernest a run for his money for sure... |
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oh2beme Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 215NV USA |
Elizabeth...it's been awile since I've been in here. I didn't think you could get any better, but you have proved me wrong. Each piece of yours that I read is like a lays chip...I just want more!!!! The best thing is that your reads don't go to my hips...LOL Very well done...thanks for the ride along on this trip...Debbie |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well...thank you Elizabeth, I was wondering what I would read my Granddaughter tomorrow, and this is perfect! What an absolutely charming story, and it has the "Santos signature" on it as is definitely your own. Just wonderful. ~ To see real beauty you must look with your heart ~ |
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sean mani Junior Member
since 2001-08-06
Posts 27 |
hey elizabeth...this was a strong poem allright...the way u rhymed time was good...I can truly see that u were fightin the wave...but the poem has lot to offer for...it has many meanings...at one point we know its a person ridin through her wave...but in the other point we can see the waves represent her inner feelings over the loss of her father... |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Elizabeth- This is absolutely wonderful! I truly enjoyed the read. hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
In the much that we have to teach our childrens hearts It's the touch like this that is their start |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Some fishermen on Brazils east coast fish in groups of 24 men and pull in a large net. Some fish alone on small rafts, leaving late at night, following the path of the stars on the bay that leads out to deeper waters. So many of them lose their lives but refuse to change to safer fishing practices. This story happens all the fime. My best freinds husband is a fisherman who fishes with partner, but comes home with unimaginable stories of these little rafts getting cought in storms, etc THank you for your interest and responses to this poem Liz |
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