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VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-08-02 02:16 AM

A Soiled Napkin
Virginia Salter

crumbs lie upon marblesque table top
stemware on its side
magenta pool oozes toward its edge
slow, bitter-sweet drips
plunge to the floor. . .
in disbelief I sit
staring
all that is left of us
a silent
soiled napkin
lies awaiting the busboy’s lift
to the dust bin

© August 19. 2000

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

1 posted 2001-08-02 02:39 AM

Concise analogy...enjoyed!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-08-02 08:43 AM

nice work here VAS... I enjoyed

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

3 posted 2001-08-02 11:47 AM

The pain screams to the reader, you use a perfect metaphor. You're writing keeps getting better and better~

Melissa~

cpalmer
Senior Member

since 2001-06-26

Posts 977
Phoenix, Az

4 posted 2001-08-02 12:10 PM

I love your writing! this is very good! I can feel the pain in each word
Cindi

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

5 posted 2001-08-03 01:05 PM

Whoa! Wonderful piece. I'm jealous

BRAVA!

http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/Interloper.htm

SmittenKitten
Senior Member

since 2001-06-20

Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet

6 posted 2001-08-03 01:48 PM

Wow, Virginia! This is great! You have conveyed your feelings so well....I agree, perfect analogy.

Hats off to you girly!
~Krista

"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
~Winnie the Pooh

SmittenKitten
Senior Member

since 2001-06-20

Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet

7 posted 2001-08-03 01:48 PM

Wow, Virginia! This is great! You have conveyed your feelings so well....I agree, perfect analogy.

Hats off to you girly!
~Krista

"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
~Winnie the Pooh

SmittenKitten
Senior Member

since 2001-06-20

Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet

8 posted 2001-08-03 01:49 PM

oops....I hope a moderator sees that! In that case, you can delete this too!
Sorry

BrightStar
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 219

9 posted 2001-08-08 05:56 PM

Beautiful.

[This message has been edited by BrightStar (edited 08-08-2001).]

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

10 posted 2001-08-09 12:22 PM

Virginia, a little more stark than your usual write, but you cut through the quick and left it smarting...

well done!

Constance
Member

since 2001-07-28

Posts 393
Ohio

11 posted 2001-08-09 01:39 PM

ouch! I can feel the hurt in this. I'm glad I found it. You made me go there, see it, feel it--that's a gift.

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

12 posted 2001-08-09 02:10 PM

fantastic metaphor, in some cafeterias they put the napkins inside the glass before they take it away...ummm wonder what in the world that means!

" I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis"

Kay

shadow974
Senior Member

since 2001-06-21

Posts 636
Michigan

13 posted 2001-08-09 10:13 PM

Wonderfully done Virginia,

Throw your heart out in front of you
And run out to catch it.

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