Open Poetry #15 |
=Watermelon Festival= |
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
As you read this, I'm hoping you will tell me if it feels finished to you or not. Watermelon Festival Virginia Salter Sittin’ here under the trees Smilin’ Scandinavians pumpin’ out tunes on the ol’ squeeze box tappin’ our toes slappin’ our knees givin’ hearts and minds a squeeze Prancin’ polkas all ‘round our ears erasin’ years from our soles pickin’ us up if only in mind and singin’ as the melody rolls © July 29, 2001 'soles' is an intentional spelling, here [This message has been edited by VAS (edited 07-29-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved | |||
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
It sounds complete to me, Virginia! Sounds like y'all had a fantastic time! |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
I could hear the music! Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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wandering glider Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501aloft |
My sense of order editor would like to see two more lines in the second verse. However, the creative genius is about to doze off and can't contribute much just now. w g \\ |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
it feels a bit abrupt but it leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling itself too....Ohh, to be able to have such fun!! is this a poem about celebration after the watermelon harvest? |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
thank you all, and faterider, Irrigon, Oregon has an annual Watermelon Festival because watermelon is a major crop for the community harvest hasn't ended yet, but is rather is just beginning or at its peak this time of year they wares at little stands, foods, parade, baseball games and musical entertainment throughout the day, all held in a marina park on the shores of the Columbia |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Sounds like a good ole time |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
cool i learnt something new today |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
VAS: I really enjoyed this as I used to live in Oregon and I'm familiar with the watermelon festival and what a good time everyone has. I feel the poem ended a little too soon. It needs a "finishing" line or two, but it's very good and could stand as it is. Betty Lou Hebert |
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