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SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

0 posted 2001-08-26 05:35 PM

Lover mine, in the shady place
In fragrance of jasmine
of tropical fruits, and forgetfulness
Pearls wrapped around you
In dewy delight, embracing
your warmness, sweetness
Pearls of passionate dew
You were mine
Together in tenderness
In the time of sunset storms

Lover mine, in that paradise
You were there,
and we were as one
In the sultry dusk of loving
It seemed forever, embracing
In the long nights, hurting
From heat and injury
We consoled our lust,
In caring
It was the time of sunset storms

Lover mine, in a heady time
Of zany laughter
and sweet pursuits
Simple loving, endlessly
There was no reality here
Except intimacy of mind and body
A caring in loving... laughter
We walked hand in hand,
dreaming
It was the time of sunset storms

But time runs out,
And we separated in time,
destiny
Love there always was, and
delicate passion
In caring and wanting,
we endured
But time runs out, eventually
And we grew apart, in thoughts
It was the time of sunset storms

*You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun!

*gurls are sweet, Gurls are nice, but im the gurl with whip cream and ice

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

1 posted 2001-08-26 09:22 PM

WELL DONE! I really like this one! I liked the repitition of that one line, "It was the time of sunset storms", it added nicely to the feeling and flow of the poem, I like your work alot, this one goes in my personal library. Hope to see MANY more.

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

2 posted 2001-08-26 09:26 PM

Thank you sooo much that means alot to me that im in someones libary that is the last place i thought i would be so once again thank you

*You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun!

*gurls are sweet, Gurls are nice, but im the gurl with whip cream and ice

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-08-26 11:09 PM

Goodness, this truly is a delight.  I have to admit I didn't come in here expecting to read something of such magnificence...
I found this to be a wonderfully structured piece.  Use of "ing" at the end of lines, repeatedly, have a fantastic flow to some of the stanzas.  You also had a very tasteful repitition of the last line of each stanza.  The images painted were of such grace and delicate beauty, truly very, very professional.
I'm quite impressed.  Andrea, welcome to my favourite poets list.  I'll read your work as I see it, and be sure to let you know what I think of it.
Best wishes for the future.  I'm adding this poem to my library as well, and your name too, so that I am constantly reminded to check in with you.
Once more, I'm very impressed.
~Allan

You eat the brains of an old, wise man.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-09-01 03:11 AM

Oh wow, i really liked this one. The whole poem was just completely jaw dropping. I love the sunset storm thing you got going. It's great. Very well done here. Hope to be reading more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

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