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Teen Poetry #5
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chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-08-26 12:20 PM


Sometimes when you're standing at a street corner
No one knows what you're writing inside.
They pass you by without a second glance...
As you stand there wondering what they're like
Or if you'll see them again.
Their backs are the last versions of them
That you will ever see.
Their shadows-
Their last goodbye to you.
A time so short,
Too short for partings...

Such a lonely world...

Child, I see the city stones have hurt you.

=====
Just something short...my last poem until I get my muse back...

-Leah


Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-26-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved
Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
1 posted 2001-08-26 12:58 PM


I don't think the muse is gone, I think you are blind.   HeHe... I, as always, was incredibly pleased with this piece. Wonderful write as always...I liked the line about what's being written inside. Off I go! Thanks for the read.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
2 posted 2001-08-26 01:21 AM


Oh i absolutly loved this. it was great. awesome job here

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-09-03 02:21 AM


I absolutely loved this!!! OMG! This has got to be one my favs, if not my most fav poem you've written. So much depth, and truth within this short piece. Completely outstanding!!!! You've knocked the breath out of me leah...wowness.  

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-09-03 02:51 AM


*raises a hand*  I for one missed this poem.  Sucks to have been me, doesn't it?
No longer.  I'll give you a thumbs up on this one.  Great last line, it was so separate from the rest and it seemed almost cynical.  Other than that, a very deep and thoughtful poem, hence why Javier loved it so much.
~Allan

People call me a madman, but I'm not mad at anyone.
~ Cat Rapes Dog, "Aquarius"

Jezziekaka
Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 58
where the trees touch the sky
5 posted 2001-09-05 07:54 PM


chasing rain~ I liked this alot!   I think it is cool you are a nurse! I want to be a Dentist someday. Great poem!

Jezzika

be dangerous, unpredictable, and make a lot of noise!

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-09-05 08:02 PM


amazing...i truly LOVED this poem...so much behind this...it shows life VERY well...esp the way you discribed such views...

"Sometimes when you're standing at a street corner
No one knows what you're writing inside.
They pass you by without a second glance...
As you stand there wondering what they're like
Or if you'll see them again.
Their backs are the last versions of them
That you will ever see.
Their shadows-
Their last goodbye to you.
A time so short,
Too short for partings...

Such a lonely world...

Child, I see the city stones have hurt you."

well, i WAS gonna quote some of the verses. But, enjoyed every single verse!! HeHe..

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
7 posted 2001-09-05 08:58 PM


Spice- I know I'm blind.   I have been ever since...ever since......*blink blink*....*also has amnesia*....well, thanks for the reply......did you reply?  

LoneWolf- Glad you liked...loved it.   Thanks for the encouragement!

Dopey- I believe this is the longest reply I've ever gotten from you...WOW! ^_^ hehe. Much appreciated Dopes!  

Allan- It doesn't suck to be you. Your ego gets in the way...lol. ~_^  
Cynical last line? *cue for evil laughter* muaha. Always good to hear from you Allan.  




Jezziekaka- Glad you also liked it! I'm not a nurse, by the way...


Alby-   You'd be a good plageriser.   hehe. Good to hear from you again!

Thanks to everyone!

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
8 posted 2001-11-07 11:49 PM


Hey Chasing Rain    Leah.  Can I call you leah?


I was browsing your poetry and this title attracted me.  Do you always write this good when you have writer's block?  Because this is pretty damn good lol.

I agree that it's sad how strangers fail to recognize that their fellow man is an individual and, even in passing, we do not have any time (not that we wouldn't take the time, we just don't really have it) to stop and greet all that we see.  Every stranger you ever see is an entire life.

Even if that wasn't what you were getting at, it still had an impact.  I don't understand the last line though can you please explain it?

Thanks Leah  

Theo

DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
9 posted 2001-11-08 12:30 PM


This is incredible. You surely do not have writers block in my humble opinion. LOL

                               Dawn

AngelPoet87
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280
Indy
10 posted 2001-11-08 04:15 PM


*falls over laughing* writers block.. how cute! This one was great as always, loving the last line.
~Ali

Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. Jatdore.

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
11 posted 2001-11-08 09:48 PM


I can't believe you people still have this one going around...lol. It's kinda nice. ^_^

For Mr.Parasite: You know the ritual of stoning people to death? Well, when one is first exposed to city life, it's like we are injured because this is not what we are used to. Like we're being stoned (no, not drugged...). It's kind of...a different thought. ^_^; Heh.

Much thanks to all for your encouragement! I think we're finally getting the feel of the pip family again...

++ Leah ++

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT
12 posted 2001-11-09 07:23 PM


Wow!! I think I understood this one, it kinda clicked 4 me.  Very, very, very good!!!!  Wonderful work!!  

~*Nikki*~

~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

13 posted 2002-09-04 12:34 PM


Chasing rain,
The beginning was the music of the street;
the ending, poetry of the music of the street.

Mike

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
14 posted 2002-09-23 08:57 AM


How very sorrowful, m'dear. Must have missed this one once upon a time. It's written with a slight leaning towards more despair than anything else which I really admire. The last two lines really brought it all into perspective for me. Kind of like a slap in the face yet not as harsh.

I do like this, Leah. Mind you, I always did adore your writing.

~AF~

"No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words

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