Teen Poetry #5 |
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City Stones |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Sometimes when you're standing at a street corner No one knows what you're writing inside. They pass you by without a second glance... As you stand there wondering what they're like Or if you'll see them again. Their backs are the last versions of them That you will ever see. Their shadows- Their last goodbye to you. A time so short, Too short for partings... Such a lonely world... Child, I see the city stones have hurt you. ===== Just something short...my last poem until I get my muse back... -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-26-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I don't think the muse is gone, I think you are blind. ![]() You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Oh i absolutly loved this. it was great. awesome job here It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I absolutely loved this!!! OMG! This has got to be one my favs, if not my most fav poem you've written. So much depth, and truth within this short piece. Completely outstanding!!!! You've knocked the breath out of me leah...wowness. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
*raises a hand* I for one missed this poem. Sucks to have been me, doesn't it? No longer. I'll give you a thumbs up on this one. Great last line, it was so separate from the rest and it seemed almost cynical. Other than that, a very deep and thoughtful poem, hence why Javier loved it so much. ~Allan People call me a madman, but I'm not mad at anyone. |
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Jezziekaka Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 58where the trees touch the sky |
chasing rain~ I liked this alot! ![]() Jezzika be dangerous, unpredictable, and make a lot of noise! |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
amazing...i truly LOVED this poem...so much behind this...it shows life VERY well...esp the way you discribed such views... "Sometimes when you're standing at a street corner No one knows what you're writing inside. They pass you by without a second glance... As you stand there wondering what they're like Or if you'll see them again. Their backs are the last versions of them That you will ever see. Their shadows- Their last goodbye to you. A time so short, Too short for partings... Such a lonely world... Child, I see the city stones have hurt you." well, i WAS gonna quote some of the verses. But, enjoyed every single verse!! HeHe.. ![]() if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Spice- I know I'm blind. ![]() ![]() LoneWolf- Glad you liked...loved it. ![]() Dopey- I believe this is the longest reply I've ever gotten from you...WOW! ^_^ hehe. Much appreciated Dopes! ![]() Allan- It doesn't suck to be you. Your ego gets in the way...lol. ~_^ Cynical last line? *cue for evil laughter* muaha. Always good to hear from you Allan. ![]() Jezziekaka- Glad you also liked it! I'm not a nurse, by the way... ![]() Alby- ![]() ![]() Thanks to everyone! -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Local Parasite![]()
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Hey Chasing Rain ![]() ![]() I was browsing your poetry and this title attracted me. Do you always write this good when you have writer's block? Because this is pretty damn good lol. I agree that it's sad how strangers fail to recognize that their fellow man is an individual and, even in passing, we do not have any time (not that we wouldn't take the time, we just don't really have it) to stop and greet all that we see. Every stranger you ever see is an entire life. Even if that wasn't what you were getting at, it still had an impact. I don't understand the last line though can you please explain it? Thanks Leah ![]() Theo |
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DawnG![]() ![]()
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
This is incredible. You surely do not have writers block in my humble opinion. LOL Dawn |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
*falls over laughing* writers block.. how cute! This one was great as always, loving the last line. ~Ali Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel... A tes souhaits... A tes amours... Qu ils restent. Jatdore. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I can't believe you people still have this one going around...lol. It's kinda nice. ^_^ For Mr.Parasite: You know the ritual of stoning people to death? Well, when one is first exposed to city life, it's like we are injured because this is not what we are used to. Like we're being stoned (no, not drugged...). It's kind of...a different thought. ^_^; Heh. Much thanks to all for your encouragement! I think we're finally getting the feel of the pip family again... ++ Leah ++ Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Wow!! I think I understood this one, it kinda clicked 4 me. Very, very, very good!!!! Wonderful work!! ![]() ~*Nikki*~ ~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~ |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Chasing rain, The beginning was the music of the street; the ending, poetry of the music of the street. Mike |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
How very sorrowful, m'dear. Must have missed this one once upon a time. It's written with a slight leaning towards more despair than anything else which I really admire. The last two lines really brought it all into perspective for me. Kind of like a slap in the face yet not as harsh. I do like this, Leah. Mind you, I always did adore your writing. ![]() ~AF~ "No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words |
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