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Sabriel.s.h.lover
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 73
b.f.e. aka- Hickville

0 posted 2001-08-22 12:25 PM

Hidden, yet still there,
my feelings of despair stir.
They slowly take over my mind,
it'll led me to insanity I'm sure.

Hidden, yet still there,
my maddening anger builds.
Through my music, i can release them,
until once again, they are stilled.

Hidden, yet still there,
my love for him is certain.
But all I can do is cover it,
and close that dark curtain.

Hidden, yet still there,
all these feelings inside me.
They're waiting to escape,
from they're cages, they want to flee....

stupidity should be painful
all i wanted out of u , was for sumthing u could never be, now take a real good look at what u've done 2 me!!!!!~slipknot

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

1 posted 2001-08-22 03:26 PM

Sad poem you express your feeling perfectly thought keep up the great work.
Lauren

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

2 posted 2001-08-22 03:43 PM

I like the last verse, about the feelings wanting to flee. I connected with this part the best. Nice job
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-08-22 07:42 PM

Yes, awesome write. Very much enjoyed. Great use of repetition as well.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-08-24 12:10 PM

"Through my music, i can release them,
until once again, they are stilled."
I like those lines the best. But I'm also a musician.. so that's a given.

This was a veryw ell written poem. The flow, although off in some places, was overall very well done.. and the use of the repitition really added to the piece. Nice work! I enjoyed this one

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

5 posted 2001-08-24 01:01 AM

I LOVE IT... sad but very powerful!!!

*You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun!

*gurls are sweet, Gurls are nice, but im the gurl with whip cream and ice

I hope y

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