Teen Poetry #5 |
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Purple Sparkle Nailpolish |
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Allysa![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden ![]() |
You don't see me walk in. I am invisible to you. You've never noticed my presence. I always notice you. I am the one in the corner, with her hair hanging in her face. With her blue bookbag and silver glasses. if you looked close enough, you would see the pain, that has fought it's way, deep into my eyes. You would see all the hate I have, all the emotion I feel, and my purple sparkle nailpolish. Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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© Copyright 2001 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
Heavens Tears![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This was nice, and the ending was kinda humorous, but I personally think that it ruined the emotion and power that the poem holds. While it is still good, I think it would be better if you held the powerful ending. *If you can't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.* |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
i agree You know you 've completely descended into madness when the matter of shampoo has ascended to philosophical heights |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
no i liked the ending..it sorta went "hey see you might think im one sort of "clique" or stereotype, but i DO know how to have fun..and if you looked at the real me instead of making fun of me or looking at me like im sum sort of insect then youd see that i am sumone special and sumone whos fun to be around"...i liked it losta allysa..i LOVE my PURPLE SPARKLE nailpolish too!!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() "Kiss my Starfish! |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I'm with Cherish on this one. I completely agree with her. So her are my ditto quotes : " " hehehe Off I go! Thanks for the read. I loved it! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This was very well written, Allysa. "if you looked close enough, you would see the pain, that has fought it's way, deep into my eyes." I can really relate to this... I loved the ending. If you look behind the words, then you might see the real meaning. I agree with Cherish.. I think you're trying to say if this person looks behind the cliche "stuff", then they might see the real you... I liked this. Very nice work! --Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was quite nice....i enjoyed this a lot. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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