Frozen Moments, Pastel Memories

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HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

0 posted 2001-08-17 09:06 PM

I rest my arms upon this ‘sill,
and remember those moments in which time was still.
Those moments which seemed to never end,
play over and over inside of my head.

I awaken from my reverie,
to seek whatever else may be.
I see memories of laughter long since faded,
and seek the innocence that has abated.

But all I feel is loves loss and pain;
my heart has now been all but slain.
It is this pain I try to ease,
with Frozen Moments and Pastel Memories.

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (edited 08-19-2001).]

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

1 posted 2001-08-17 09:10 PM

Yea, I know I wrote this, but I made a mistake. The first line is supposed to be the title, not part of the poem. I forgot the space.

Poet Unknown
Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 140
Missouri

2 posted 2001-08-17 09:52 PM

ya said it all brah, it was a great read nice work man

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

3 posted 2001-08-17 09:56 PM

Next time all you gotta do is Edit it (referring to the forgotten line break). Good post, keep writing!

Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel.

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

4 posted 2001-08-17 10:38 PM

hey welcome to passions! great first post. Post more and dont forget to reply!

You know you 've completely descended into madness when the matter of shampoo has ascended to philosophical heights

GirlsBestFriend
Member

since 2000-12-27

Posts 71
Planet Earth

5 posted 2001-08-17 11:52 PM

hmmm...first of all: Welcome To Passions!!! as DarkAngelOfTheStars said

Nice poem here...especially as you first post. A little short (and sure nothing's wrong with short poems) but we can read the idea clearly. I hope you a good luck and lets read more of yours here!

~lotsa luv

"Isn't it funny how to the world you are nothing? But then to one person..you're the world"

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

6 posted 2001-08-18 12:42 PM

You like totally blew me away with this. It inspired me to get a dictionary and look up some of those words.ha ha. oh it's funny because I really am that dumb^_^.
All kidding aside i am impressed by this first post and look forward for more. and welcome to PIP

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

7 posted 2001-08-18 04:57 AM

welcome to passions welcome to passions welcome to passions welcome to passions welcome to passions welcome to passions
ok i thik that's enough ok you guessed it 'm crazy!well that's a good quality in me! lol anywayz i really iked your poem it was awesome! and about the title thing it puts the title up top in the blue so ya really don't need to put the title but hey whatever floats your boat lol!and again welcome to passions.
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

8 posted 2001-08-18 03:02 PM

First of all, beautiful title. Really held the poem in place.
The flow was good, words nicely placed. The emotion you put forth here really suited it. You ended it well by placing the title at the end of the poem, so that it had a sense of closure.
For a first post, this was very well done, and I welcome you to pip.

I hope to read more from you soon, and by the way, you can edit the poem by separating the title from the actual body of it...use the pencil icony thing.
Till later.

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-18-2001).]

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

9 posted 2001-08-18 03:17 PM

I also really liked this title. It really captures a readers attention, and the poem definetly keeps it. Wonderful job here. I hope you like it here at Passions, because I cant wait to see more poetry!

*If you can't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.*

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

10 posted 2001-08-18 07:11 PM

First off:
WELCOME TO PIP!
Second off:
I liked your critique message...lol. Very blunt.
And last but not least:
The poem was very much enjoyed. A wonderful first post. Sad, and soft. And by "soft" I mean- The poem itself had alot of feeling and meaning to it...but when read ( Or atleast when *I* read it.) it came across in a soft/easy going tone. I liked it. Hope to see more posts and ever more REPLYING soon. Thanks for the read.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

11 posted 2001-08-19 06:22 PM

You liked it! *sniff* You really liked it!.....sry. I tend to be a little sarcastic from time to time. I really AM happy that U liked it; it was my favorite of all the ones I've written too (the grand total of poems written: 3). Thx for all the responses! I'll try to post often!

-Rich

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

12 posted 2001-08-19 10:35 PM

LMAO...Hura! A sarcastic arse. I think we shall get along JUST fine.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

13 posted 2001-08-20 03:21 AM

I live in the past and I spend a lot of time thinking back on memories of frozen moments.I loe your poem and I can't wait to read more keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

14 posted 2001-08-21 05:34 PM

First and foremost, Welcome to Passions in Poetry!

Secondly, the poem was beautiful.
"I awaken from my reverie,
to seek whatever else may be.
I see memories of laughter long since faded,
and seek the innocence that has abated."
I really liked that stanza. Very well done. Rich. I'm going to really like you! Your rhyme scheme was well done, and the flow, although broken in places, is overall okay

Nice work! I can't wait to read more posts and replies from you

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

15 posted 2002-12-04 07:05 PM

Wow. *Bows*

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

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