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Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

0 posted 2001-06-29 11:38 AM

This one is kinda ick, but its how I am feeling right about now, so here it is.

Nothing at all feels the same
The walls are even closing in
I can no longer look out the window
To see the beautiful sunrise and sunset
To see the stars twinkling in the heavens
For fear of seeing my own reflection
Staring back at me
Even staring at the floor
Does not block out the world around me
And no matter where I look
I feel those worried eyes
Burning through my skin
Right into my heart and soul
Like tiny spears ready to tear me apart

My spirits had finally lifted
My heart had breached the horizon
But both were shot down by your accusations
By the words you spoke
That were true, but I could not bring myself to believe them
Or rather, to believe you knew...

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

scout
Member

since 2001-06-16

Posts 175
no place owns me

1 posted 2001-06-29 12:56 PM

"My spirits had finally lifted
My heart had breached the horizon
But both were shot down by your accusations
By the words you spoke
That were true, but I could not bring myself to believe them
Or rather, to believe you knew... "

i like that last stanza.

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

2 posted 2001-06-29 01:52 PM

Your poem is so true and I especially like the last stanza.I hope everything gets better and keep up the awsome work!
Lauren

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-06-29 03:21 PM

This is another well written poem, Amanda.  Something I really like about your poems is how emotional they are.  You write with such deep emotion that it really touches me.
The first stanza here was good.. I liked the end of it, the simile you used worked very well.  The second stanza was my favorite.  What accusations, may I ask?  That's what I was wondering while reading.  The ending was awesome.  Talking about how you just don't want to believe it.
Very nice work.  I liked this one.  Hope to see more soon...

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-06-29 04:03 PM

I liked this one. An emotional poem indeed. I enjoyed it and hope to see more from you.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

5 posted 2001-06-29 04:40 PM

I loved the last 2 lines, personally.
Very emotional piece.
Great job.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-07-01 04:10 PM

I loved the read.
a lot of emotions and feelings in it
Thanks for the share
keep it up

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

7 posted 2001-07-03 02:46 AM

wow, i loved the last stanza in this. really meant something to me. great work on this poem. i enjoyed it. *hugs*
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

8 posted 2001-07-03 02:38 PM

Powerful words... I can feel the pain emanating from the words. It doesn't seem very descriptive on the surface but when you delve into it's depths and place yourself within the words you start to feel. It's beautiful, thank you for posting it.

No angels in heaven nor demons below the sea, could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

9 posted 2001-07-04 04:09 AM

great job!...true and emotional...and i really liked the last stanza.

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

10 posted 2001-07-04 05:08 PM

i love the last stanza..this poem rocked! gret job, keep posting

*dq

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

11 posted 2001-07-04 05:09 PM

This was a really good poem. Very emotional. good work.

Regina

If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive.

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