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pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

0 posted 2001-08-16 05:28 PM

Lights interferE
planets BEYOND
striking anything
as the
sun
patiently waits

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

1 posted 2001-08-16 05:31 PM

hey everybody...yeah, i know i've been gone for awhile (for those who actually missed me) i was moving to college, but i'm here now, so i will try to keep posting. i know that this is not one of my finer peices, but it's been awhile. just for reference, read the second line backwards, right to left..i think i'm going to change it later..tell me what you think....it's good to be back

me

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

2 posted 2001-08-16 06:55 PM

i thought that it was very interesting, this is the first poem of yours ive read i hope to see more soon! so keep them coming

You know you 've completely descended into madness when the matter of shampoo has ascended to philosophical heights

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2001-08-17 06:06 AM

OK I'm obviously a moron tonight or just very tired because I have no idea what you are talking about in your little note up there. Ah well.
Nice to see you back. I didn't really like the piece but that's ok. Make sure you reply as well as post.

~AF~

I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. *toot toot*

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-08-20 12:50 PM

Although an interesting format, I think that it would be better if you wrote it out the way it's supposed to be read. A lot less confusing that way

It's always neat to play around with little things like that. I'm also guilty of that one! ANYwho

, it's awesome to see your name back up on the boards!  I'm looking foward to reading more of your awesome poetry.
As for this piece, I liked it, but I think that you could change around the format, play with it a little maybe, and make it into a haiku.  If not that, then at least add on a little.  It seems as if something's missing.
Nicely done, though.  I enjoyed this one.. creative structure.

Nice work, pharon!

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

5 posted 2001-08-20 02:43 AM

Your poem is really deep and I enjoyed it keep up the great work!
Lauren

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

6 posted 2001-08-21 11:57 PM

OMG!! How could I miss this? Like all of your others, this one is very similiar but has it's own feel. The thing about your poems is that it is very easy to read and re-read till you finally get the point (or at least think you got it) Good job on another poem.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

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