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Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

0 posted 2001-08-13 06:31 PM

You make me laugh
but your're not funny.
You drag the silver blade of your eyes
accros my sweating body,
and smile as your sinister face
meets mine.
From here you stain my white heart
and turn it scarlet red
with the blood I see in your eyes.
You inflict pain
on my sinless soul
and then you ask
for my forgiveness.
You make me laugh
but you're not funny.

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

1 posted 2001-08-14 02:15 PM

I totally have someone like this in my life. I like the poem, but I hate that feeling.Good job.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-08-14 04:42 PM

"You inflict pain
on my sinless soul
and then you ask
for my forgiveness.
You make me laugh
but you're not funny."

Those lines kicked butt! It's almost like you're talking about how pathetic he is... wowsers. Lots of power in those lines. VERY nicely done, Kim. Your writing is really improving lately... I can see you growing, and it's something you should be very proud of.
Well done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-08-16 10:35 PM

Yet again- Marie has said it all. Perhaps one day I'll have time to get in here like I used to and reply a bit more...A bit faster. HaHa. BUT! I did like this. As stated- You are growing alot...Hope to see another post soon.

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

4 posted 2001-08-17 12:44 PM

oh wow this was soo..hm i cant even think of the word. very very emotional, excellent word usage with the colors and things. great job

*dq

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2001-09-09 03:14 AM

Kicking Kim-
   Wow!  This is an extremely powerful piece,
   and VERY well written!
   Awesome job!

   *smiles*
   ~vicky

"...a heartbeat in every syllable..."
-vlraynes
<a href="http://www.home.earthlink.net/~vraynes/">

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

6 posted 2001-09-09 04:12 AM

wow this was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
very well worded!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-09-09 07:14 PM

Wow, very powerful. I really really liked the poem! Awesome job on it! Jaw dropping.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Delirious_Smurf
Member

since 2001-08-08

Posts 90
Nothingness,P.R.

8 posted 2001-09-09 11:07 PM

I loved this!
It was great how it was said...perfect.
Sorry bout how yer feeling tho.

Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

9 posted 2001-09-09 11:37 PM

wowowowow....awesome!!!..like everyone else said....it packed one powerful punch!!!!well done KIM!

"Somehow I managed to single handedly betray myself" Javier Agosto

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

10 posted 2001-09-10 12:33 PM

Whoa!! This kicked some serious butt...great expression of feelings here!
~Nikki~

Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it...

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

11 posted 2001-09-10 08:07 AM

This was a great poem...i too have someone like this in my life...he's extremely hard to understand especially from an outsiders point of view...i tell my friends all the things like you've listed in your poem and they just dont get why i'd ever put up with it...and i dont know how i would ever feel the same w/out it...::hugs::

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

12 posted 2001-09-10 12:19 PM

Ooo deep and quite powerful, Kym. Someone is definitely an evil so and so.
I do like the way you described the way the blade cut your heart etc. It gave off a really great image.

Keep writing and keep on sharing. Great work.

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

Poet Unknown
Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 140
Missouri

13 posted 2001-09-10 12:38 PM

ppl like that suck .... good write

Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

14 posted 2001-09-10 07:04 PM

I also have someone like that in my life and it sucks but I just have to deal with them.But anyway very deep poem and I loved it.
Lauren

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

15 posted 2001-09-11 12:24 PM

powerful and quite a deep piece...thought provoking as well, i really liked it.

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

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