Teen Poetry #5 |
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Winter's Violin |
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Carly and Allan New Member
since 2001-04-28
Posts 5USA/Canada ![]() |
![]() ![]() Tranquil mornings when I'm waking Capture and enthrall the light Breathe it deeply, peace relaxing Rapture of a noonday heart Sinking sights within the bedsheets Reminisce of whats anew Paint the souls of heartache's longings Violinists never through Closing eyes and candles tasting Waste the day and call it mine Breach and meet the wind, awaken Peace in heaven's earthly signs Shattered glass and scattered promise futures spanning ever on footstep snuffing out the moonlight crawling at the calling dawn Sunshine's murmur that romances lover's hands that close our lips Cold, compelling, everlasting haunting life within a kiss While the tempest shakes the forest wreaking havoc in the trees Love shall keep your windows open welcoming the winter freeze |
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© Copyright 2001 Carly A. Van Dort/B. James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
WOAH! This is a really mindblowing piece from you two. I had to read it twice over to let it fully sink in! The last stanza was good- a bit chilling but GOOD! i enjoy much of what you two come up with and this is by far the best ![]() thanks for sharing this was awesome i enjoyed it greatly! ![]() ![]() ![]() period pain is HELL! |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
You two always blow me away. This poem is certainly no exception. VERY beautiful work, you guys. Definitely a perfect match! ![]() This piece left me with chills after reading it aloud. Amazing work! "Sunshine's murmur that romances lover's hands that close our lips Cold, compelling, everlasting haunting life within a kiss" Very romantic stanza, and definitely my favorite throughout. Wonderfully done! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
This is awesome... just awesome. That's all I can say. ![]() Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was great you guys. keep up all the effort. Regina |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
Reading poetry by either of you is oftentimes an awe-inspiring experience, as many of the members of Passions will agree. However, reading a collaboration between the two of you is a slightly different experience... it didn't inspire awe from the style of it, or from the flow of it, as it seems not to flow in any single direction, but sort of shows elements of both of your writings. ^_^ The images that you two painted seemed to dance with each other and take the reader's breath away... I really thought this was an excellent collaboration. Starting off without any rhymes, and then the rest of the poem seemingly painted with rhymes, and then the last stanza returning again to that original state. ^^ Cyclic flow... And I *love* your title! ^^ Very pretty... and it sets the mood for a very romantic piece... you know, you two really are mentors for people to look up to. ^_^ Balance of emotion and mutual understanding make writing poetry together seem easy... *whistles* You two rule! Excellent job on this one, Carly and Allan. ^_^v I wonder what any future collaborations you two write will look like... if you two write anything, post, ne? ^_^v - holatuwol |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
I am a big fan of both your works. I was just amazed by this piece. The last stanza especially is classic. Great job on the collaboration. I hope there are more to come. "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Cherish - Thanks for the ![]() ![]() Marie - Your praise deffernitely means a lot to me, and Carly too I'm sure. Your favourite stanza? Yeah, I like that one too. *cough*I wrote that one*cough* Misty - enough said. ![]() Ina - Sweet of you to read this and reply. ![]() MC - Dude! A reply from you is like winning the lottery amongst PIP members, I was thrilled to see you read and replied this one! Yeah, I like the title too *cough*Carly did the title*cough* Ozz - haven't seen you in ages... nice to see a reply of yours again. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You eat the brains of an old, wise man. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
hah yall r so cutish *tweak allan and carlay* i loooove yall ![]() dude! yall got Mc posting to ya. *clap* thats an achievement in itself.. as for the collab....woooo omg its great. i *loved* it. best poem ive read in too long a time. im happy to see you both writing again. and i cant wait for more. this is in the library for sures. *peck* love ya both. and carlay.. dont get too jealous of my sig ![]() tiff ![]() Allan Riverwood is a sexay man! |
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