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allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

0 posted 2001-08-09 03:24 AM

*Don't know what this is but tell me if you do/don't like it*

Sterile walls,
Provoke sterile thoughts,
Evil words have no place here.
You talk too much,
In ways that make me want to talk,
But my words have no place here.

Too much sugar,
In your twisted sentences,
Your questions which ask one thing.
You smile to much,
For something much too serrious,
Smiles among sterile walls mean one thing.

ALLIE

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-08-09 03:53 AM

Wow i liked this. I mean i liked the thought that this poem evoked. Well done here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

sean mani
Junior Member

since 2001-08-06

Posts 27

2 posted 2001-08-09 09:51 AM

the title is captivating...lol

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-08-09 08:04 PM

There's a lot of meaning behind this one... what provoked this poem to be written? You're a talented poet! I loved the first two lines... it started and ended strongly.. nicely done. I REALLY liked this one!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

4 posted 2001-08-10 03:19 AM

Marie- i wrote it after going to councelling with my friends... odd i know, but it seemed aproopriate?? thankz for the positive words~

Thanks all of you!

ALLIE

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

5 posted 2001-09-09 01:18 AM

allie-
   Wow!  This is very powerful!
   Well done!

   *smiles*
   ~vicky

"...a heartbeat in every syllable..."
-vlraynes
<a href="http://www.home.earthlink.net/~vraynes/">

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-09-09 01:29 AM

How did I miss this? Thankgod it was brought back up for my eyes to feast upon...I love it, Allie! VERY awesome write...Though provoking indeed!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

7 posted 2001-09-10 11:07 AM

Grrr...I missed this one too.

Ally, wowsers. Great piece. Some great images are provoked by what you have written here. Sterile is a good way to describe any situation.

Thanks for the read. Excellent work.

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

Poet Unknown
Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 140
Missouri

8 posted 2001-09-10 12:17 PM

well i think everyone who reads it will like it so no need to worry bout ppl not likin it

Do as you please....strike forth down upon your knees...Darkness Falls on Those Without Souls

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