Teen Poetry #5 |
Improve Poetry |
Hardkore Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33San DIego, California |
Are you there, I've come to say something We have come to a decesion for you And think it's best that you get some help Everyone see's the chains wraped around your throat Draining your soul, and stealing your voice Your hands are too weak, and oh so cold So you must let us in For we are strong and know what's best |
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© Copyright 2001 Garrett Megaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
You know what's best? How can you possible know what is best for this person? You obviously don't have the chain around your throat yourself yet you say that it is time for them to get help? A person will only be helped when THEY want it. I'm sorry but this piece has made me furious. It is nothing personal against you but people like the person in this situation infuriate me to such a degree I could scream! I'll stop there. Sorry for venting. Thanks for sharing and all. ~AF~ "Why not light the candle in the dark tunnel while we head for the light at the end?" - Anonymous Albert to anonymousfemale |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I agree with AF! I have been having problems with people like this in my life. It's my life to screw up, let me do it! My response to this way of believing comes from a new Eminem song: "Stickin' their noses in ____ that isn't none of their business, I never asked, cared, gave a ____ or wanted opinions" The poem is powerful, I just don't agree with it's message. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur [This message has been edited by keoni (edited 08-06-2001).] |
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Hardkore Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33San DIego, California |
Sorry i made people mad I wrote this in two seconds and I was talking to myself in it, it wasn't me narraratiing Passion fuels my love |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I don't think you made anyone mad, I wasn't mad. I just don't agree with that way of thinking.Don't ever apologize for your work. Poetry is a form of expression, and last time I checked, the constitution still allows it. Don't ever hesitate to post anything, although it may not be agreed with, we still enjoy it for the poetic quality. Sorry to sound like an ass Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought you did fine on this, but it really didn't connect with me like some of your past work has. Anyhow, I look forward to more. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"Everyone see's the chains wraped around your throat Draining your soul, and stealing your voice" I loved those two lines... very well written poem, here. Strong words. Sometimes the hardest decision is the one of whether to cross the line of trust when a friend is in trouble. Very hard thing to do... I hope all is well I enjoyed this one! Keep posting all your work. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
girl you need someone to talk to you can always email me. ok! robin i don't give up without a fight so boys beware! |
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