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jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2001-08-05 01:19 AM

Just something I put together real fast

‘Long Awaited’

Rolling through the countryside
My mind mellows to other thoughts
Bringing forth no more memories
Of what I once sought

A future to perceive in view
Awaits my very attention
I’ll follow my guide for now
To relieve my painful tension

Remember not what stopped me before
But of what’s to come
A journey to travel observantly
Of what I may become

So keep on rolling through
With a head of steam to give
To see the one thing I need
That’s waiting for me to live

Jeremy D. Raulinaitis

"War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing!" - Edwin Starr

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

1 posted 2001-08-05 03:37 AM

Very well written poem I enjoyed it keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-08-05 04:58 PM

Very nice message, JD! I really enjoyed this one, especially the last stanza. I thought that to be very optimistic. Nicely done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-08-06 01:40 AM

I agree w/ Marie.
Very optimistic indeed!
Nice write!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-08-07 11:00 PM

Well done here Jer. I thought this was simply superb.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

5 posted 2001-08-10 06:16 PM

Very nice work Jeremy. Good use of feminine rhyme in that one stanza.

Well structured and with a solid content. All these things I've missed about you.
Kudos.
~Allan

Blood Moon
Host: lark.crodo.com
Port: 1313

Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

6 posted 2001-08-10 06:23 PM

"Remember what not stopped me before
but of whats left to come"
This was a brilliant poem! Nicely done!

^*~Kicking Kim~*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

7 posted 2001-09-09 01:20 AM

jeremy-
   I really enjoyed the positive nature of this.
   Great job!

   *smiles*
   ~vicky

"...a heartbeat in every syllable..."
-vlraynes
<a href="http://www.home.earthlink.net/~vraynes/">

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

8 posted 2001-09-09 05:04 AM

My, look at the date of this posted and look at my reply date. Geesh...

Sorry buddy but this is a great piece. Nothing short of fantastic which is what we have come to expect from you. I liked the rhyme scheme you used and you've got some wonderful imagery in this.

Well done.

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

9 posted 2001-09-12 01:39 AM

"So keep on rolling through
With a head of steam to give
To see the one thing I need
That’s waiting for me to live"

i liked that ending! it was a really good poem.
robin

Things I Have Learned I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in

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