Teen Poetry #5 |
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Took a Chance and Now Romance |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC ![]() |
There’s not too much romantic, about that night a few months back I met you at a party, and they caught us in the sack Things just clicked for us, on that intoxicated night The things we did were backed by feelings, and not just out of spite In the morning I gave you my number, and couldn’t wait for you to call I was looking for no one, but I began to fall That first night at the movies, it began to start While your friend was stealing your car, you were stealing my heart Came over more and all I did was party I was thinking you were gone, but I guess your love is hearty Cause not many people can put up with me just like you You look at me like I do no wrong no matter what I do Our camping trip, that barbed wire fence, and me acting crazy Drinking and talking by the fire, while you were acting lazy I got with you that week, on June 28 You became my girlfriend, and more than just a date Time has past, it’s been a blast, I’m so glad I’m with you Now that you are here with me I have something to look forward to It’s by luck that we met Went and placed my bet Took a chance and now romance And now I feel I’m set It’s crazy to think it’s been a month already But everything is going great, our relationship is steady I can see this lasting, for some time, keeping you as mine You’re the only one that’s in my heart, the rest can stand in line I didn’t expect any of this, and now I can’t believe it’s true I’ve only been here for a month and I’m falling in love with you To Melissa "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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© Copyright 2001 Jon - All Rights Reserved | |||
mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
i really liked the flow of this. great job ![]() |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
HeHe- The tile really caught my eye. ( Though I would have read it anyway...LOL) But anyway- I thought this was charming. The rhme scheme you had here was great. I liked the way you chose to write it. Without this Shakespearean tone, Without tons of symbolism, lacking huge vocabulary, without tons of indepth description...It was just done in an everyday tone.( Ya know?) And it worked wonderfully! Hope to see another soon. I'm happy for you and Melissa. Best of luck to you 2 in the future. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Thanks for the replies. And Spice - "Without this Shakespearean tone, Without tons of symbolism, lacking huge vocabulary, without tons of indepth description..." That's the way I chose to write it. I'm an idiot, that's how I always write. Just kidding. I just thought that comment was funny. Thanx again Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I liked this one alot Jon. IT was good stuff. Hope you have happiness and fun. Regina |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Very sweet here...I wish you guys nothing but the best of luck! ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Spice callin keoni stupid? Somebody's gotta teach her a lesson ![]() Anyhow, I did like this one keoni....especially the "lack of voc" hehe. Very well written. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Spice didn't call Keoni stupid! You're not stupid, Keoni. I enjoyed this a whole lot. Nicely done! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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