REALLY STRANGE!...written when in odd mood. No title

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Teen Poetry #5

REALLY STRANGE!...written when in odd mood. No title

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

0 posted 2001-07-25 08:04 AM

Always the one in the background,
Pushed aside by my perfect relationship.
Hated for ruining the perfect couple,
You lagged behind.

Always second on my list,
Forgotten by friends who said we wouldnt last.
You weren't as good looking,
You werent my other half.

         *!#!*

Now you're back from nowhere,
apearing like sunlight.
Dancing golden waves,
which fade.

         *!#!*

I left you to lag behind last time,
I pushed you aside.
This time,is there is one,
You're everything I've wanted to find.

You're the past i wanted to loose,
the future I seek.
Pushed aside by love,
which faded.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2001-07-25 10:23 AM

Umm I liked this one, I thought it was a very good read

Hellseyes
Member

since 2001-07-25

Posts 120
Kansas, USA

2 posted 2001-07-25 11:48 AM

I feel like this is something that should have happened to me, have you ever heard that what you think is perfect is only a state of mind.../Drew/

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

3 posted 2001-07-25 11:56 AM

Nicely done! I really enjoyed this one. I did notice that you used the wrong word. Use "lose" instead of "loose" in the last stanza. Thats the only thing I noticed. Great job!

I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

DarkenedShadow
Member

since 2001-07-23

Posts 114
Kansas

4 posted 2001-07-25 04:09 PM

I like how this seemed to almost contridict itself, if I'm right anyway. I may be looking into it too much but I like how the human emotion was worked into this one. /Nick/

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-07-26 02:35 AM

I REALLY liked this poem! I thought you did a wonderful job on the whole thing. Really nice.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-07-30 11:12 PM

Sometimes the best poetry is the poems that are written when we're not ourselves.. This is awesome. I REALLY like this poem. The ending kicked major butt... Nicely done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-08-01 02:44 AM

well done!...this was a VERy nice piec of work.

"if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take" - when thugs cry-

Alyssa

Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!

8 posted 2001-08-02 12:20 PM

i liked this one as well

"I have no never-again, I have no always"
Pablo Nerudo

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