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Teen Poetry #5
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So I Feel
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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So I Feel |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL 
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Through cowardly nights and fearless days My heart throbs in several painful ways Hurt and sorrow and twisted emotions Some people refuse to see the signs 'Help' we cry, but no one responds Through what voice do I scream on? Dark, silent, nothing but me Is that really what I fear? He has come and gone leaving a mark One I am not proud of, the one on my heart Verbally, mentally, physically - worn and confused Why? Only two know - he and God One day he will pay Whether it be here or there Tears run and emotios fly Sometime I sleep but then I dream Dream of that awful night He stole from me, he stole many things My dignity, pride, virginity, childhood - my life He snatched it and ran - all as suiveniers Taking what he wanted, leaving the shell, me, behind So now I feel unwanted, I've already been used So I feel What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jessica Langford - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hire a hitman. That way you get some revenge on him. Now, in all seriousness, I feel for you. Guys like that are scum. One thing about your piece, if you aren't going to follow through with a rhyme scheme, you shouldn't start off with one. Thanks for sharing this, Jessica.  ~AF~ Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me... |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Another good one..though I'm usually not fond of freeverse poems. Like AF said, if you're not gonna use a rhyme scheme, try not to start off with one. As to subject matter of the poem, I feel ya. Boys that do crap like that ought to be castrated and hung by their toes before being caned. (er..sorry..just me and my obsession with seeing medival torture being utilized..). They don't deserve to be called men, and give the rest of us a bad name. Want I should hunt the creep down? Anyway, like I said, it was pretty good, though I don't like freeverse much. Lots of emotion. Keep it up, Jessica. -Kosetsu "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die." - Shakespeare [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (edited 07-21-2001).] |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Jessica, that was a horrible thing that guy did to you. Don't feel unwanted though. But if you ever want to talk about it, you know I'm here for you. I enjoyed the read. Nice job. |
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Karen Junior Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 36Utah |
Another beautiful poem. This happens all too much to young girls. I'm also one of them. DON'T GIVE UP. I gave up and the same thing happened over and over and over. Keep fighting. There is someone out there that will treat you like you deserve. Don't settel for anything less. Keep Smiling, |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very powerful write. I hope all is better now. Hope to see more.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is so powerful.. The emotions are VERY strong. The poem as a whole was very well written. The flow, although off in a few places, was overall pretty good. The rhyme scheme was very sporadic, and I think that you could go back and change a few things here and there... but the content of the poem was wonderful. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope things are better now... Nicely done here. Hope to see more soon. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
I actually wasn't trying to rhyme the first 2 lines - it just came out that way. There was no rhyme I was looking for in this, I was just writing. Thanks for all of your replies though. What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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