Teen Poetry #5 |
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When You Wake Up |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Just tell me why… Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you hear me? What’s the matter with you, Can’t you face me? Just tell me… Just tell me why… Why can’t you leave me? Why can’t you hate me? What’s the problem now, Do you fear me? Just tell me… Just tell me why… Why must you use me? Why do you abuse me? When will you wake up, And face reality? I’ll just tell you… Just tell you why… I’m done with these delusions, I’ve seen through these illusions. When you wake up, Will you miss me? "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die." - Shakespeare |
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© Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jessica![]()
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
I really liked this one... I can relate so much. What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
nice piece. keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front." |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Wow...I really liked this one ALOT! "I’ll just tell you… Just tell you why… I’m done with these delusions, I’ve seen through these illusions. When you wake up, Will you miss me?" I was so totally feeling that last stanza... Thanks so much for sharing! ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Not my fav. of your work Adam. I dunno, I didn't like the repetition used here. The last stanza was nice though. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the formatting of the poem. The stanza's look like balls. Not that I like balls or anything ![]() ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
o_O Balls? *doesn't want to know...* Sure Dopey..whatever.. -Kosetsu "Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown |
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Jessica![]()
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
LMFAO@Dopes!!! Balls? OMG! |
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Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
![]() ![]() Some people come into our lives and go quickly. Some people stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. We are never ever the same. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I liked the format here, Adam. I liked the way you ended this by changing the words around to make it the answer... Very nicely done here. I enjoyed this.. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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