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Teen Poetry #5
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Waking up to Dreams
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Waking up to Dreams |
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ShimmeringDarkness New Member
since 2002-07-11
Posts 4kyuuki |
From the mists came a dimly light, the light which will guide me in my fight The mist became a billowing cloud, as it engulfs me in a mysterious shroud The light that guided me is gone, from whence the mist it dimly shone I try furiously to get above, flapping like a cornered dove Above the sorrows i keep deep beneath, to the tip of the sword when it is sheathed As i was finally seeing light, drained of energy from vigorous flight I plunge back down into the depths, as the clouds breathes thunderous breaths In the darkness sitting alone, hearing the clouds painful groan Suddenly a light shed forth, a beam of light which spread its warmth I wake up to a beautiful day along side with you. with all of my sorrows fading away dissipating from view. This is for Leah, Tiff, and Amanda. I'm hoping everyone will enjoy though ^^ [This message has been edited by ShimmeringDarkness (08-30-2002 03:32 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jian - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Otaku Junior Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 39Western Australia |
cool rhyme....must've taken ages to come up with them.. great job... |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
awwww you made it for me.. awww *Sniffle*  anyways.  !!!WELCOME TO PIP JIAN!!! Hope you like it here dear. You already know that I like this poem, but i'll gush some more for ya. hehe These are my fav lines: quote:and quote: love ya dear. and post more yesh! “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very pretty words here. Nice job, welcome to PIP.  Jenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Jian~ This is just lovely~ Welcome to Passions~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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ShimmeringDarkness New Member
since 2002-07-11
Posts 4kyuuki |
Otaku: didn't take as long as you think.. ^^ just something i thought up in my spare classes.. Tiff: Thanks Tiff ^^ Glad you liked it Jenn: Thanks Jenn, glad you liked it too ^^ Marge: Thanks Marge, that's a lot of posts... o.O; Happy to see there's no negative comments, but don't mind posting them ^^; |
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Evylyn Junior Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 20Florida, USA |
*Gasp* It's soooo pretty, and gives me a sense of "edge of my seatness" because of the strife in it. Though, how you wrap it up is just..nothing short of perfect! It gives me a calm at the end of the "storm" that appears to be there. (That's how I like things to end. None of this 'minus happily ever after' stuff.) *Hugs* "The only thing that boggles the mind is the mind itself." |
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Tiger Junior Member
since 2002-08-18
Posts 24Queensland, Australia |
aw, so sweet. Nice work ~*I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you*~ |
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SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
 WELCOME TO PIP~! Im sure you will love it here i know i do! Now about your poem i loved it and for a first post at that .. i beleive i will keep reading your work! thank you for the read hun! *!~!* Andrea *!~!* soon to be mother [This message has been edited by SunShine913 (09-01-2002 08:50 AM).] |
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