Teen Poetry #5 |
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Plastic Words |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
Ok this is the first real poem that I ever wrote. I wrote it like four, maybe five years ago and I just thought I'd share it. It's a bit choppy I suppose though. It eventually got published but yeah.. anyway.... Plastic Words Just as a storm crosses the sky And makes it turn A stone black, A friendship can become an ugly storm. Fighting over stupid things. Once good friends Or even lovers, Now mutual enemies. Words once spoken Of truth And believed, Are now words of hatred That are meant to tear Each other apart. Yes, these words That had been spoken Were meant To turn into plastic. *just a little side clue... I used plastic as part of my subject because it breaks easily, isn't worth much, and it's cheap.... which kind of describes my relationships with my friends and boyfriend at the time. |
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© Copyright 2001 Stephanie Harmon - All Rights Reserved | |||
CountryGirl4U New Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 6Sexiest Cowgirl |
Aww .. It was a great first poem! I can relate to that. About the boyfriend and friends ... Keep up the good work! -Summer- Obstables are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals. |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Oh nice! Most of the time when I read FIRST poems I expect to see where the person originally had room for improvement. Also most first poems aren't very creative, but this one is, very much so. I did notice your reason for using the word plastic, and I must say I really love the title of this poem. It makes the reader keep that in mind as they read the poem, which is good. It sort of underlines the poem with a concept. The ending is quite sad, when it's said they were "meant to" turn into plastic. It kind of states that we cannot escape our fates, and whatever is meant to happen will eventually happen. The line breaks and wording of this poem are superb, you did an excellent job. The flow was marvelous and the size is well thought-through. You didn't run your mouth for an hour, you made a concise and well-flowing poem. So it seems you were a success from the start. ![]() Best of luck in the future too. ~Allan Blood Moon Host: lark.crodo.com Port: 1313 [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 07-15-2001).] |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
OOoo Stephanie- I really liked this. It's a first poem to be proud of. I loved the symbolism of plastic. I thought you did an absolutely extradinary job on showing your feelings. |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
the symbolism use of plastic was awesome and youd id a wonderful job for a first poem...i REALLyY liked this one, Stephanie ![]() im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Amazing poem, i loved the way you used value to express relationships. Very nice comparisson. Also enjoyed Allan Riverwood's reply... often comments in this forum are almost as interesting as the work itself ALLIE |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is very impressive for a first poem. It's very symbolic, and you don't find that much in firsts. Nice work, I enjoyed this. The creative idea of the poem really made it interesting to me. I also would liek to commend on your use of the title. Again, vert creative. Nicely done here. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning... |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought it was ok. I found the symbolism to be wonderful for a first poem and so on.....it didn't quite hit the spot though. Anyhow, well on it nonetheless. Hope to see more. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I liked this one. The imagery was great. It was a very good poem. ![]() - Cody - |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I disagree with Allan a bit. I liked this, the symbolism was great. I completely agree with the point of it, but I could tell it was sort of sketchy, more of a "first poem". But it was good nonetheless. Welcome to Passions!!! Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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