Teen Poetry #5 |
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Wavy Lays Potato Chips |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
This is an answer to a challange on another site that I was reading. Basically its like personification, but you are comparing a person to an object...oh well, just go with it-if you want to do it, be my guest! You are that full bag of Wavy Lays Potato chips The one that calls my name from some dark, deserted place- I know that I shouldn’t have you, but I want you -oh so bad You are that after school snack my parents warn me about You are that finger licking good chip of the gods- An ambrosia that has supernatural powers Engulfed in the grease that controls my mind You are my tangible lack of self control You are that empty bag of Wavy Lays Potato Chips [This message has been edited by LCBS (08-03-2002 01:35 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Lisa Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
LoL this was quite amusing i liked it! good job ![]() ~Ultimately, we are all dead~Proximo |
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Chel2082 Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 40Baltimore, MD |
very interesting...i liked it. <3 chel With GOD all things are possible...<3 CHEL |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I actually really like it. It's different. ![]() "if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
That was great. It was indeed. I'm going to say that I'll try that someday but I know I'll forget and end up not doing it. Heh, but yours was great ![]() *~erin~* "I like Erins...especially the you kind."-Ryan :D |
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*~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~* Junior Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 38 |
hey hun. yep, i love it! ha, i was just lookin' thru the poems and that title totally caught my eye. this was *very* interesting. i liked the unique style. ![]() ::love alwayz:: ~*britt*~ |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I really liked this one. Very interesting and very unique. It made a lot of sense. Good write, it's nice to see someone tryin' something new ![]() - Cody - |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
This is pretty cool! Thanks for the read, Lisa! |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
hey lisa!! wow you got it bad for someone don't ya? lol......... i liked it very much was great! |
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
Actually Robin-I dont really have it bad for anyone right now! I was just writing the poem to fit the challenge....Believe me, when I want something, you will know! So what I gather from these comments is that my poem was interesting....is that a good thing? ~Lisa |
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paper doll Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133Floating on Uncertainty |
it's a great thing that the poem is interesting. I actually really enjoyed this. The idea is unique so I'm going to make it lose it's uniqueness and try it. ![]() Much enjoyed. Thank you for the read. ~M Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality. |
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Lady In White![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
This was a good job of personifying an inanimate object...if I throw a challenge at you, will you catch it? Become a doorknob, and from it's point of view, tell us what you see... |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
lol ok lisa.... anyways yes it is a good poem very intreresting. |
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Cinderelly Member
since 2001-12-31
Posts 189NM, USA |
Wow, I really like the poem and the idea! Great write! ![]() Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown |
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Xeonox![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
interesting write. It amused me a bit. Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.) |
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Kevin![]()
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Lisa I dont think you really know how good this is, compared to your other work especially, you should try alot more of these poems where you dont restrict yourself to rhyming |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
NO!!!!... Lisa, I won't say this often, but this time don't listen to Kev. : ) Although I agree that right now free verse works better for you, don't give up on the rhyming poetry. It can be a beautiful thing once you get it down. It just takes some practice. And I know you have it in you! oh, and good poem by the way... lol Check out my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master [This message has been edited by Master (08-08-2002 02:27 PM).] |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ha ha ha ha! I'll never look at those greasy, tasty things the same way again. ![]() Mike |
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