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LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-08-02 04:16 PM

This is an answer to a challange on another site that I was reading. Basically its like personification, but you are comparing a person to an object...oh well, just go with it-if you want to do it, be my guest!

You are that full bag of Wavy Lays Potato chips
The one that calls my name from some dark, deserted place-
I know that I shouldn’t have you,
but I want you -oh so bad
You are that after school snack my parents warn me about
You are that finger licking good chip of the gods-
An ambrosia that has supernatural powers
Engulfed in the grease that controls my mind
You are my tangible lack of self control
You are that empty bag of Wavy Lays Potato Chips

[This message has been edited by LCBS (08-03-2002 01:35 PM).]

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

1 posted 2002-08-02 04:27 PM

LoL this was quite amusing i liked it! good job

~Ultimately, we are all dead~Proximo

Chel2082
Junior Member

since 2002-07-23

Posts 40
Baltimore, MD

2 posted 2002-08-02 04:35 PM

very interesting...i liked it.

<3 chel

With GOD all things are possible...<3 CHEL

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

3 posted 2002-08-02 04:48 PM

I actually really like it. It's different.

I think I'd like to try this. Not right now though, my brain is shot. I'll get back to this.

"if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos

StellarChica
Member

since 2002-07-06

Posts 207
floating down a river...

4 posted 2002-08-02 09:14 PM

That was great. It was indeed. I'm going to say that I'll try that someday but I know I'll forget and end up not doing it. Heh, but yours was great

*~erin~*

"I like Erins...especially the you kind."-Ryan :D

*~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~*
Junior Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 38

5 posted 2002-08-03 12:05 PM

hey hun. yep, i love it! ha, i was just lookin' thru the poems and that title totally caught my eye. this was *very* interesting. i liked the unique style.

::love alwayz::
~*britt*~

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

6 posted 2002-08-03 12:13 PM

I really liked this one. Very interesting and very unique. It made a lot of sense. Good write, it's nice to see someone tryin' something new

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

7 posted 2002-08-03 01:27 AM

This is pretty cool! Thanks for the read, Lisa!

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

8 posted 2002-08-03 02:21 AM

hey lisa!! wow you got it bad for someone don't ya? lol......... i liked it very much was great!

http://cgi6.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=hardcorerobin&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=25

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

9 posted 2002-08-03 01:41 PM

Actually Robin-I dont really have it bad for anyone right now! I was just writing the poem to fit the challenge....Believe me, when I want something, you will know!

So what I gather from these comments is that my poem was interesting....is that a good thing?

~Lisa

paper doll
Member

since 2002-08-04

Posts 133
Floating on Uncertainty

10 posted 2002-08-04 07:57 AM

it's a great thing that the poem is interesting. I actually really enjoyed this. The idea is unique so I'm going to make it lose it's uniqueness and try it.

Much enjoyed. Thank you for the read.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

11 posted 2002-08-04 10:02 AM

This was a good job of personifying an inanimate object...if I throw a challenge at you, will you catch it? Become a doorknob, and from it's point of view, tell us what you see...

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

12 posted 2002-08-04 02:08 PM

lol ok lisa.... anyways yes it is a good poem very intreresting.

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

13 posted 2002-08-04 09:08 PM

Wow, I really like the poem and the idea! Great write!

Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

14 posted 2002-08-04 11:41 PM

interesting write. It amused me a bit.

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

Kevin

Senior Member

since 1999-11-02

Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa

15 posted 2002-08-05 09:31 AM

Lisa I dont think you really know how good this is, compared to your other work especially, you should try alot more of these poems where you dont restrict yourself to rhyming

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

16 posted 2002-08-08 02:26 PM

NO!!!!... Lisa, I won't say this often, but this time don't listen to Kev. : ) Although I agree that right now free verse works better for you, don't give up on the rhyming poetry. It can be a beautiful thing once you get it down. It just takes some practice. And I know you have it in you!

oh, and good poem by the way... lol

Check out my poetry here:

http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

[This message has been edited by Master (08-08-2002 02:27 PM).]

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

17 posted 2002-08-08 04:30 PM

Ha ha ha ha! I'll never look at those greasy, tasty things the same way again.

Mike

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