Teen Poetry #5 |
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Outside looking in |
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lil_pwheeler Junior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 39here |
From that corner He does stare At the girl With long blond hair He wants to have her Oh so much Will he ever Feel her touch She doesn't even Know he's there Its for her He does care But he knows He'll never be with her there So he'll just stand,sit And stare [This message has been edited by lil_pwheeler (edited 07-14-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Pat - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
this made me sad...*sighs*...i loved how you discribed this showed *that* emotions so well...loved the poem..as i can relate. im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I agree with Albert. A great write here. ![]() |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
your title attracted my attention straight away...ive written a poem with sumthing along those lines...so i can relate to this pretty well..thanks for sharing ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
How sad!! How come they will never be together? Has he even attempted at winning the girl?? Good poem! |
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Saxoness![]()
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
I can identify with this one, from the other side, of course. Nice work, I like the short stanzas. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I enjoyed this. Thought you wrote it well, but it's not the best I've read from you yet. I do look forward to seeing more. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I really liked the rhyme scheme here. THe meter was awesome, and the flow was well done. Nice work! I enjoyed this. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
The last stanza kind of freaked me out. The rest of the poem was good and like Marie said, the meter was awesome and it read really well. Thanks for sharing this. I look forward to more. ![]() ~AF~ Tearless grief bleeds inwardly. |
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