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Teen Poetry #5

Love is Suffering

Squirmy
New Member

since 2002-06-26

Posts 5

0 posted 2002-07-18 02:48 AM

Losing my mind,
But I feel fine,
I refuse to kneel down and feel shame,
When inside all I feel is pain

I will not be enslaved
Just because you couldn’t care less
Is it love or is it pain?
To me it’s all the same

Love is suffering
Suffering is pain
I don’t even know your name
Or from where you came.

Now you decide you need me?
Now you decide you care?
Does it even matter?
Does it mean anything at all?
To me it’s all the same.

ach..im sure this really sucks..or maybe not..either way..comments?

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

1 posted 2002-07-18 10:56 AM

Welcome to your new home!

This poem had a good base, but it seems to me you make the mistake that so many people in this forum make (including myself, but I'm working on it). You are concentrating more on the rhyme than the poem, let the poem flow. The rhymes that you are using just constrict it. Don't feel like this poem is bad, it is a good start...just work on it!

Good job!

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