Teen Poetry #5 |
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Sacrifice Without a Will |
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babygurl * Junior Member
since 2001-12-07
Posts 30 |
Once you were never again why this was why don't you understand break me once regain the trust but never again broken promises like the needle poked my skin why didn't I learn from the first time it stung the pain just shied away built up fear I steared clear from your hollow heart but came once more to reclaim my strength but never again will you be a part of me or be a memory like the paper with a pen you swept me off like angel dust for I could never be cruel until I was a fool you worshiped the top so I let your way be but never again for you see the tear filled flowers on top of the grave of me. ---------------------------------------------------- This was written not too long ago.. i know i havent posted anything for sooooooo long but i hope yall still remember me! anyways when you guys read this i want your HONEST opinions cause i know there is lots of stuff that should be changed and redone!! thanks everyone!!!!!! |
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© Copyright 2002 babygurl * - All Rights Reserved | |||
LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
Changed my mind....reread a couple more times and decided I was in a bad mood last night. It's a lot better when you have time ti read into it! Great Job! ~Lisa [This message has been edited by LCBS (07-18-2002 11:01 AM).] |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
I'm really sorry about this, but my only critique is that its pink. I'm too tired to think. I'll try and come back later, and think of something more intelligent, and then, when I'm awake, pink won't bother me. Something about pink and sleepiness makes me uncomfortable. That's odd, isn't it? (Ok, I'm going to shut up and stop rambling now. Bye) |
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Android 17![]() ![]()
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Heyo, Jacko! Of course I remember you! Heheh...hmmmm, I think for a more indepth---I'm going to call you...okay? Others are too in love with the sound of their own voice to speak the truth... |
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