»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Suicidal Beauty Queen (cliched, I know)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Suicidal Beauty Queen (cliched, I know) |
|
|
StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Ok, ok I know this whole topic is cliched and people are probably tired of it by now but I still like this poem and you get to see the more "morbid" version. You look at her, What do you see? A perfect face, A perfect body. She's probably got a perfect life to match. If you could only see her late at night, Her perfect make-up, Her perfect face, Distorted by tears of pain and anguish. If you could only see inside her head, See her insecurities, See her suicidal contemplations. Noone ever looked past her pretty face, To find out who she really was, What was really going through her mind, No one cared until her designer clothes were drenched in her own blood, No one cared until the boy on her arm was replaced by self-inflicted scars, No one cared until they read her obituary in the morning paper, No one cared. "Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side."-incubus |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
You are right, it is cliched. So since that is the case, why present your talents under a poem that you know is cliche? Casey Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. |
||
|
SavingGrace Junior Member
since 2002-05-31
Posts 26not yet found |
i really really liked this poem. i can relate more than anyone really cares or needs to know. great write. i disagree with casey, she's always kinda rough when she replies, why so pessimistic i wonder? but i cant wait to see more writes from you, keep it up. ~*Grace*~ |
||
|
clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I am not being pessimistic, the poet said it was cliche. The piece is cliche, not only do I think this but the writer does. Doesn't that say something to you? Casey Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. - T. S. Eliot [This message has been edited by clve527 (07-16-2002 10:49 PM).] |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I think that some people care but aren't willing to do anything about it. I don't really give a damn about cliches. If you think about it everything is a cliche. Also, if a topic is important enough then who cares if its "cliche"? Good write. Love it when it's gory. :p "if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos |
||
|
StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Ok, I said it was cliched and it is. But that doesn't mean that I don't like it because I do like this poem a lot. I wrote this because I was tired of writing the same old poems about broken hearts and whatnot like I always do. So I wrote this and I like it a lot even if it is a topic that lots of people have already written about. I just wanted to clear that up. Thanks for reading  "Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side."-incubus |
||
|
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey! i liked this, it was cool. who cares if it was cliched? lost of stuff is, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth talking about, and that you shouldn't give the piece as much attention as it deserves. this piece had really good imagery, i enjoyed it. thank's for posting. -bergundy maybe i'll catch fire, something nice to warm me. something pure to burn away the darkness, that hides inside my mind. -alkaline trio- |
||
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
not only is the topic cliched [i wonder why] but you made the piece itself cliched. there is no emotion in this at all. it's duller than a lawnmower without a blade. if you're really so obsessed with writing of a topic with which you have no first-hand knowledge, then try to back it up with a little grey matter. get those electrodes firing. and some research and interviews wouldn't hurt either. and that's all i have to say about that. true poetry comes from experience. /jen/ so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
||
|
clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
Quietlydying, There is only one thing that you said that I disagree with. It doesn't have to be from experience. I know that the majority of what I write isn't. Just a thought. Casey If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see... |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
However when you're talking about something like self-mutilation or suicide it certainly does help if you have experience. Not only do you understand the perspective, but you can also go into greater depth with it. Suicide is about more than just dying "tragically". Self-mutilation is more than just suffering. Just like the loss of a loved one by death is about more than just their death. With experience (either personal or from someone else close to you perhaps) it is easier to express these depths. I think that without the depths a poem just lacks the kind of strength that makes a poem wonderful instead of just good. "if you know me so well then tell me which hand do I use?" Tori Amos |
||
|
clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I agree to a point, but I do think that if someone can delve into an emotion they haven't felt it can increase their ability. But very few people can do it successfully. Casey If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
