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Teen Poetry #5
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StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...

0 posted 2002-07-09 07:39 PM


This isn't very good..but I was just writing it off the top of my head. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself but I don't think it's all that great...


It's half past two and I lie in darkness,
The only light comes from the dimming street light just outside my window,
I can still faintly hear your voice,
From the times you sang me to sleep,
I can still remember the way it sent chills down my spine,
And how it gently caressed my mind, body and soul,
I remember being lulled to a deep sleep,
While fighting to stay awake so I could hear the sweet sound,
It's almost three now and I'm still awake,
The street light just went out and now the darkness envelopes me,
Nonetheless I can still hear you singing as I finally drift off,
Into a sleep consumed by dreams of you and me.




"Do you like dreaming of things so impossible or only the practical or ever the wild?"-Dashboard Confessional
"Is there a line that I could write that's sad enough to make you cry?"-Gin Blossoms

[This message has been edited by StellarChica (07-09-2002 07:39 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...
1 posted 2002-07-09 08:09 PM


hmm..perhaps if I make it seem like others have read this people will reply..or maybe they'll just think I'm stupid for replying to my own topic..whatever..and I'm done.

"Do you like dreaming of things so impossible or only the practical or ever the wild?"-Dashboard Confessional
"Is there a line that I could write that's sad enough to make you cry?"-Gin Blossoms

[This message has been edited by StellarChica (07-09-2002 08:09 PM).]

LilTai
Member
since 2002-06-08
Posts 189
United States
2 posted 2002-07-09 08:51 PM


I don't usually read what's going on in the Teen section but this is very good.  I like it a lot, and I definatly know the feeling--you portray all of the emotions very well.  
Nice job I enjoyed reading it.

And don't worry about people posting, its a good poem whether people read & respond or not.

   Tai

I'm an idealist..I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way =)

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