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Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2002-04-24 12:49 PM

Offering up my heart,
to you.
Once again-
I'm hooked.
I love you-
and I'll love you till the end.
~(And then I'll find someone sweeter)~
My heart will change-
conforming yet again.
Looking for-
what's never there.
Crying myself a river,
because I thought you were the one.
The piece that fit-
thought you could...
change my mind.

Alas the distance swells some more,
and the drift does grow.
Our hearts are now-
so far apart.
And all I do, is swear it still:
I'll love you till the end.
.
.
.
.
.
.The End.

Impulse Pro
Junior Member

since 2002-03-22

Posts 25
Mass,USA

1 posted 2002-04-25 05:15 PM

Good poem !!
I like your writting style

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-04-26 12:19 PM

Great poem!! It had a lot of strong emotion in it. I thought you did a wonderful job

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

3 posted 2002-04-26 05:49 PM

LOL, I read your critique message and laughed, then I forgot what I was going to say and had to read the poem again... I'm so absent minded...

Anyway... I loved the poem. You use punctuation well. I'm sorry, that's an awful thing to say... The poem was excellent, the feelings were well expressed. I liked the ending.

It reminded me of someone I used to know... *sighs*

Kielo

I LOVE YOU! *kisses you* hehehe...

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

4 posted 2002-04-27 11:18 AM

LOL
Thank you all.

Glad my punctuation was appreciated.

"I can't get you out of my head- your love is all I think about."

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

5 posted 2002-04-27 07:59 PM

"Offering up my heart,
to you.
Once again-
I'm hooked.
I love you-
and I'll love you till the end."

Hey Jenn.

I liked it. It was definetly (sp?) different, from you, and from anything I've read. The style was just... unique. The "until I find someone sweeter" threw me for a loop. It kind of, for me, thew of the entire feeling of the poem. As if... all the sadness and love you were feeling was fleeting. Anyway, I enjoyed the write.

Sincerely,
Titus

Every second that passes you are one second older. You'll never get that second back.

tzaddiqim
Junior Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 15

6 posted 2002-04-28 04:18 PM

That is a really good poem!

I felt i coudl totaly relate to it and the feelings you expressed were very simular to thoes which i myself am going through.

Great Write!

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

7 posted 2002-04-30 11:22 AM

Wow - Once again - this reminds me of my ex Justin Michael...(Or, mabbe I just have him on the brain)...either way...great poem

~ Tamma

Have you ever heard that "No shirt, No shoes" rule? My question is...Why doesn't that rule include pants?

Lisa_bebe15
Member

since 2001-11-15

Posts 151
Florida

8 posted 2002-04-30 12:04 PM

wow this is good..Yea it reminds me of my x..hum..
Lisa Ann

"Water Over Matter"

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