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Teen Poetry #5

Come See My Cage

Demonic Illusion
Member

since 2002-02-07

Posts 50

0 posted 2002-04-09 06:30 PM

Come see my cage,
Built in my grave.
Stalk the streets at night,
Waiting to start the fright.
Come see my cage,
Built in my grave.
Quick rush of adrenaline,
Face numb heroin.
Come see my cage,
Built in my grave.
Fog lights my way,
This is your last day.
Come see my cage,
Built in my grave.
I don't want to be here,
Shed only one tear.
Come see my cage,
Built in my grave.
I know what you feel,
My head begins to reel.
Come see my grave,
Built in my cage...

Demonic Illusions, Frostic Dragons, Bloody Tears From Me To You....all surround by a force of Untouchable Darkness

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

1 posted 2002-04-09 06:56 PM

Wow. Thats all I can say is wow. Wonderfuly written. May I ask what the motivation was for this piece or is it personal?

~*~*~Night Angel~*~*~

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

2 posted 2002-04-09 07:18 PM

Hey, I liked it.

Now, what does my saying that do for you? Nothing. *thinks* Ah, yes, something benifical to your... I enjoyed the repitition of the lines. For this piece, it worked well, kept the reader interested. Plus, the length was perfect. Farewell!

~
Titus

"Tesous Christos, Theou Uios, Soter"

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

3 posted 2002-04-10 10:39 AM

A uniquely grim look at the cages most people (if not everyone, really) have to live in. You're right. We keep ourselves so trapped that it becomes our non-literal death...Very nice piece.

~Carly

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions."
~David Borenstein

Demonic Illusion
Member

since 2002-02-07

Posts 50

4 posted 2002-04-10 04:34 PM

umm the inspiration...i have no clue mighta been the mood i was in i just started writing it

Demonic Illusions, Frostic Dragons, Bloody Tears From Me To You....all surround by a force of Untouchable Darkness

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