Strange Rain (comments welcome )

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Teen Poetry #5

Strange Rain (comments welcome )

SlowDrag
Member

since 2002-01-10

Posts 53
Tx...need i say more

0 posted 2002-03-13 02:02 PM

(i'm kind of typing this in a hurry, so forgive any typos)

Strange Rain.

with wounded eyes of sorrow
Children fall down when they play
we watch the rain roll down the window
to wash our innocence away.

do you think that we could find
the song inside our eyes
when ownder fades in time

forgive us for this crime
forever sleeping
The Night has clothed us in a new day
a while to smile in the mourning air
a chance to drink a drop of strange rain
and risk a game of truth or dare

i hope that we will find
the song inside our eyes
when wonder fades in time

forgive us for this crime
forever sleeping
learn to laugh and to forgive
throw your hands up to the sky (strange rain)
strange rain is falling where we live (to soothe and to erase)
to wash the stains out from our teary eyes

i know that we can find
the song inside our eyes
when wonder fades in time

forgive us for this crim
i want to feel the rain
fall on my face
falling on my face
i'm wide awake today
forever dreaming.

"Pardon me while I throw up, I guess some people never grow up..."

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

1 posted 2002-03-13 03:00 PM

This was very good, I dont have a lot of comments because I am not good on critques...But I liked it a lot, and I thought you expressed your thoughts well~!

~Lisa

-Queth-
Junior Member

since 2002-02-10

Posts 35
Canada

2 posted 2002-03-13 03:02 PM

-SlowDrag-

Is this a song? Please let this be a song!!! -grin- This is such a lyrical read...it flows to its own music.

The sometimes-there-sometimes-not rhyming was so perfect! In a way, the words made me blue, but it was so beautiful...-melts-

I really should stop doing that...

Anyways, keep writing! (I have this urge to take this off the internet and compose something...but I won't. -grin-)

Q.u.e.t.h.

Everything in between.

SlowDrag
Member

since 2002-01-10

Posts 53
Tx...need i say more

3 posted 2002-03-13 06:18 PM

THanks,
and yes this is a song, pretty much anything i post on here is a song i've written, this is where i get comments on my songs, i wish people could hear the music so they could get teh full effect, but thanksfor your comments

"Pardon me while I throw up, I guess some people never grow up..."

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