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Teen Poetry #5
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ForeverMyOwn
Junior Member
since 2001-11-23
Posts 13
Brighton, MI

0 posted 2002-03-03 06:48 PM


Shining bright,
a little light.
A simple tear,
a raging fear.
Pull me down,
take up my crown.
A glint of gold,
a future unfolds.

© Copyright 2002 James Bicknell - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
1 posted 2002-03-03 07:00 PM


I really liked the short lines of this piece it was very enjoyable to read.

If you see this message I have just replied to your poem. I have poems as well *hint*

[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (03-03-2002 07:01 PM).]

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
2 posted 2002-03-03 08:14 PM


Short but sweet...easier to read after reading and replying to 1000 0thers (yes replying!!!!!) Great job!!!!


~LCBS

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2002-03-03 09:48 PM


Short and sweet..nicely done!

iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf..

angel_2401
Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH
4 posted 2002-03-04 04:36 PM


I thought this was really cute. It was short, but that made it even more unique. Great work!!!

Kristin

I'm not just A Princess, I'm THE Princess!!!!! ~*~I love Matt!~*~

-Queth-
Junior Member
since 2002-02-10
Posts 35
Canada
5 posted 2002-03-04 09:50 PM


-ForeverMyOwn-

The way you decided to use short lines for a short piece was a very good decision. It made it quite easy to read, and more enjoyable. It was simple in it's own way, yet the foil between the first four lines helped clarify some other interwoven messages.
Keep up the good work!


Q.u.e.t.h.

Everything in between...
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