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Teen Poetry #5

Scattered thoughts..

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2002-02-25 06:53 PM

"Across the Universe"
Plays in my mind
Keys scattered upon the floor
Mixed amongst the tattered pieces of paper
Trying to convince myself
It's all getting better
Perhaps I'm just
Another Alice lost in Wonderland
That fell down that rabbit hole
Because I can't seem
To unlock that door
That is heavily guarded
By dragons
And faerie tale creatures galore
Perhaps the moon is in on this
I notice how
It mocks me with that smile
As I try to find the chocolate covered key
The one
That holds all the answers
To end this wicked misery
That milks me of my essence
And rapes me of my innocence...

gracianna
Member

since 2002-02-17

Posts 165
A 14 year hell

1 posted 2002-02-25 08:16 PM

Nice...very well chosen words.

I give a whole new meaning to the word 'sad.'

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

2 posted 2002-02-25 10:15 PM

I love the metaphors that you use....and how you always relate it to food (chocolate covered keys). Now I love your poetry, but now I'm really hungry....

~LCBS

Exeryone makes mistake, learn from them and move on, because tomorrow we'll make more...

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

3 posted 2002-02-26 05:14 PM

Powerful words here girl! Powerful imagery! Wow.... this is one beautiful piece. Again, quite powerful.

Sincerely,
Titus

The One, The Only... The Titus.

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

4 posted 2002-02-28 04:44 AM

very powerful indeed...i loved the imagery used in this piece too...wonderul job!

Zombie

Torn are her limbs
By quiet hands that
Tug life(color) out of her.
Gnawing edges round
Into a broken(satisfying)
Shadow

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