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mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

0 posted 2001-07-10 02:15 PM

You say you don't know
What you're doing wrong,
You say you can't see it at all...
Maybe you're just not looking hard enough
Or deep enough.
You say you stand me to be angry at you
And you'd do anything for me
But yet you still can't see.
What I want I already have,
What I need is already there too,
But what I wish won't happen;
For it to happen
Would be changing who you are.
You keep your anger
Hideen and on a short leash
Only because you know how dangerous it can be.
But you don't see
That my defense is silence -
To silence the pain that screams at me,
To silnce the angry words that shout
Their way to the front of my brain,
To silence the urge to brand it all in your mind,
To silence the desire to make you understand,
To silence the yearning to forgive you.
All of it dances around my mind
Covering my thoughts in a cloak
Like an eclipse.
Silent it all stays,
As silent at the dead in the grave,
Calming the desire to start a fight.
'It's sickening how comforting
The privacy of the mind can be.'

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

1 posted 2001-07-10 03:03 PM

Nicely done. There was a lot of emotion and anger in this poem. Great job!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

2 posted 2001-07-10 08:36 PM

I liked this alot! It's Filled with power and emotion. Wonderful read here!

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-07-11 04:00 AM

I really liked this one. Especially the ending....well done here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

n e where
Junior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 32
Australia

4 posted 2001-07-11 05:54 AM

this was a very powerful poem
i enjoyed it a lot

~I'd rather see the world from another angle~ Jewel.

Starnite
Junior Member

since 2001-07-05

Posts 41
Wisconsin

5 posted 2001-07-12 11:42 AM

Another great post. It was filled with anger and power. It was great.

**Sarah

chas
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 101
Lynn, ma

6 posted 2001-07-12 11:55 AM

this is a great poem all around, but i didn't understand one line
"You say you stand me to be angry at you".other then that, the poem was well written.

Hill's_Chatabox
Junior Member

since 2001-07-10

Posts 46
USA

7 posted 2001-07-12 12:51 PM

This poem was a great way to express your anger. I really liked it, Good job!!!
~Hillary~

Shoot for the moon cause if you miss you'll still end up in the *stars*!!!

Don't tell me that you love me unless you mean it, Beacuse I might do so

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-07-12 07:54 PM

awesome ending

...i REALLY liked this one...enjoyed greatly!

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

9 posted 2001-07-16 01:11 AM

To be honest, I didn't like this one. From the very beginning, I lost interest in what you had to say. I think this lacks lots of emotion that could be there... I did think the ending was impressive, but it didn't hold my attention. Thanks for sharing, and I'm looking forward to reading more.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

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