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Demonic Illusion
Member

since 2002-02-07

Posts 50

0 posted 2002-02-08 01:38 PM

Years of being criticized,
Years of being despised.
Look into eyes,
Hurtful demise.
Shed the last feather,
Braught into gloomy weather.
Nothing seems to go away,
Wondering mind soul astray.
Years of rage and hate,
Lead a person to this fate.
All roads to nowhere are winding,
Answers you aren't finding.
Life of frustration and pain,
The angel hath been sleign.
Cracked the Halo..
Corrupted and incarnated another soul,
Lay your hands upon me sink into your hole.
I will stone you,
Nothing more to do.
Fifty religions rush through the door,
Not going to stop till fifty bodies hit the floor.
Walk through the garden of death,
Breathe my last breath.
And shatter the Halo....

Fear not what you see, fear the Demonic Illusion in which you do not see

jaded
Junior Member

since 2001-07-24

Posts 20

1 posted 2002-02-08 07:26 PM

hey, you have some great imagery going on here - i love the running image of the halo throughout.

it would work really well in a song too.

keep writing,
jaded

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

2 posted 2002-02-08 08:14 PM

This is a great, if dark, Poem! it's awsome!

After Love comes Pain, then Love, Then Pain, then Love, then Pain..... does anyone else see a pattern here? Oh well, can't say it's not worth it.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

3 posted 2002-02-09 12:43 PM

Your imagery was awesome...!!!! Nicely done!!

mE & cHrIsTiNe GaVe A WhOlE nEw mEaNiNg tO ThE wOrD "iNcOgNiTo"

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

4 posted 2002-02-09 05:28 AM

wowzers...

this is awesome. i like this very much. i think the only thing i didnt like about it was the rhyme scheme. it was too plain for such a dark poem- it read more like a nursery rhyme then a serious poem. but apart from that this was a VERY good post. thanks for sharing!

life's not about who wins or loses, or about whos got the better car,or the most money. it's about living,and trying to make the best of what we have.

DawnG

Senior Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 1494
United States

5 posted 2002-02-10 03:50 PM

Demonic Illusion,

Very deep poem indeed. I like it a lot.

Dawn

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