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Zukene_Chic
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 152
Cali

0 posted 2002-01-03 09:12 PM

I am who and what you will. I am your mother, your concubine, your succubus, your sibling. I live where ever I choose to stay at the moment. I am whatever age I need to be to do as you will. I am yours, so long as it pleases her, and has nothing to do with him. Have you ever looked at a bubble and wondered how something so celestial can survive in such a horrible place as this? Dont you understand that you need to be childish to really undearstand? Children dont have that veil that blocks everything an adult doesnt expect to see! Regret your past. Hate your present. And fear your future more than life its self. Death will come- might as well accept it. Love it. Embrace it. Do you know who I am? I hope somebody does, its been so long since I could remember. Help. Floss. Hug. Never forget. Screw the cap on. Just because you have ten toes doesnt mean you dont have thirteen fingers. Laugh.

I dont suppose you could really call this a poem, but I'm posting it anyway. Why? Becuase I was taught that poetry is used for expressing yourself, and this is doing just that. [edited]

[This message has been edited by acire (01-04-2002 10:26 AM).]

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

1 posted 2002-01-04 12:24 PM

well... put in a different format it would look alot more like a "poem' persay. Hey, damn the man!! Poetry is life! Life is poetry! Those rule-mongers will just have to swallow it

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2002-01-04 08:02 AM

I think your right..this doesnt exactly follow a regular "poem" guidline...but i'll tell ya one thing..it WAS full of emotion!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

gymnast
Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 80
Scotland.

3 posted 2002-01-04 08:20 AM

I LOVE this poem-it really shows all of your emotion. Hope you don't mind but I'm putting it in my library! Keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

4 posted 2002-01-04 08:22 AM

it's good no matter what! i liked it!
robin

love me and rhonda for ti loves us!

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2002-01-04 10:27 AM

It could be considered as free verse
but you do need to write it in a different format

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2002-01-04 12:12 PM

I enjoyed this, but agree with acire. You expressed yourself well, though, allowing for a good read

--Marie

"It was a long December, but there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last." (Counting Crows)

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

7 posted 2002-01-04 01:41 PM

This was really good and I'm so glad that you decided to post it, even if it doesn't really fit the form of most poetry. Lots of emotion in here, and I think you expressed it really well. It sorta reminded me of the Sunscreen Song from way back when..Does anybody remember that one??

~*Nikki*~

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

HiddenSparklez
Member

since 2000-12-29

Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada

8 posted 2002-01-04 09:04 PM

I'm agreeing with everybody else that format doesn't really matter although format does make your readers read it the way YOU want them to. So if you wanted them to read it just is, then so be it. Other than the format, the words were very strong... perfect for emotion.

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

9 posted 2002-01-04 10:19 PM

I think there is no such thing as a set format for a poem so write howver you feel. But anyway I like this piece.
Lauren

"I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

10 posted 2002-01-05 12:18 PM

"Regret your past. Hate your present. And fear your future more than life its self. Death will come- might as well accept it. Love it. Embrace it. "

OH I LOVED this! Free verse! *cheers*
however, I HATE poetry in this form...Blah, needs a different format, I feel like I'm reading a paragraph when it's like this...The lines need ot be broken up...other than that, I loved it. I could tell what words should be emphasized and what should be a bit quieter...etc (Or maybe that was just my own crazy head doing it itself..lol) anyway, it rocked, thatnks for the read...more I say, more!

"I'd rather die purposely alone than to have lived an accidental life of solitude."- Jesa "§ùgã®" Thompson

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