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knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2001-12-06 12:46 PM

I feel it seeping through,
waiting and watching for truth...
The light slowly dies away,
its last stand before the dark.

I watch it encompass all,
coating my senses like a mist...
A glimmer of myself awakens,
only able to show in the night.

I reach out my life line,
spreading to all things gone...
The rush of blood flows freely,
a tease of living against my veins.

I taste the darkness,
letting it saturate my mind...
A glimpse of magical wonder,
more powerful then spoken words.

I flow through its richness,
leaving behind all but this darkness...
The rising power of creation,
that can last for only so long.

I surrender to this fleatingness,
knowing that my time will come...
A sense that comes with first light,
as the dark becomes still and dies away.

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

I know Im not perfect but I can smile
& I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-12-06 11:56 AM

wow! Very cool!! I like this very much!!

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

2 posted 2001-12-06 12:43 PM

i really love the images you used in this piece, you worded everything beautifully. keep posting your work.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-12-09 08:43 PM

I really love the way you used the light images throughout this piece:

- "The light slowly dies away,/its last stand before the dark."
- "only able to show in the night."
- "I taste the darkness"
- "leaving behind all but this darkness..."
- "A sense that comes with first light"

These images really put the reader into the emotion full force. Nice work with this, Tiff. Beautiful piece, and I enjoyed it very much.

I can't wait to read more, hopefully soon!

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

katherine
Member

since 2000-06-10

Posts 365
Canberra Australia

4 posted 2001-12-10 06:18 AM

it went straight over my head but most things tend to do that.
Never the less it's powerful and very cool.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

5 posted 2001-12-10 10:10 AM

This has a lot of feeling and emotion put into it...i liked it a lot

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-12-21 11:25 AM

this is amazing, specially the last lines
such an impressive poem
you need to write more of these kind of poems
hoping to see more
thanks for the read

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

7 posted 2001-12-21 11:55 AM

Tiffer, tiffer, tiffer...This one made me shiver...(NOT meant to rhyme!) I loooved the vague imagery in this. It made me feel as if I were standing, tasting the darkness too..a powerful feeling, it was it was.
Much love to you, dearie.
~Carly

Speak softly and carry a beagle.

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught."
~Edouard Manet

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