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Frozen
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Frozen |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA 
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Hey. This is just kinda one of my rambling thoughts... Came up with this one as I was looking out the window in English class. Lemme know what ya think. FROZEN Snow falling On the once green pine Turns it to white The frozen world Makes everything feel All right - Cody - |
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| © Copyright 2001 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
that's cuuuute!! *sigh* I wish we'd get snow. but nooooo, lol, we don't get it here down south!! but that's okay, everything stays green pretty much  okay, I"m rambling...bye!! *~*Love is the key that can unlock your happiness...to truly love, is to love yourself*~* |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
ones the pines freeze over everything will be ok. i like that thought- theres more to it then that i know..  ....sometimes i just wish everything would freeze for a moment just to let me catch my breath...then there are others where id wish the world would snap out of their mini freezes...*sigh*...i have no idea what i want lol...good poem codyes |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was short and sweet and BEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuutiful heheShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
this is really good for such a short poem keep it up, you're good at this là où est mon amour? |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh this is great, Cody! SO much in so little lines. You're getting better each and every day. Well done. keep writing. ~AF~ "When I eat I feel. It is better if I don't feel, I am too afraid." - Ellen West |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Cody, You have a wonderful one here.... and it is so inspiring that I got writing and came up with this... thank you... ------------------------------ snow fell last night and black turned bright as the slanted rays of the morning sun lit sparkles on the stark road almost like filling deprived souls with little flickering fireflies ------------------------------ regards, sudhir |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I wish I could be so spur-of-the-moment! Nicely done, Cody. I enjoyed the idea you threw out there to us. I have a few critiques, though... First of all, I think that such a short piece doesn't need rhyming. The meter is effecting by a rhyme that's sort of thrown out there to us. I don't know if it was intentional, but just a suggestion. Also, I would be interested to see you expand on this. Most of what I've seen from you in the past is formatted poetry. Maybe try this again, only longer, and in free verse? That's just for my own curiosity's sake Well done, just the same. As I mentioned, the idea was a good one. You did a nice job working the length as well. Enjoyed, as always, Cody. --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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MindlessPoet Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106Texas |
made me smile. For now, all I can do is dream. |
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