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betrayed
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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betrayed |
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lone_poet707 Member
since 2001-11-17
Posts 70black hole named Aylmer |
Backstabbed, I'm angry and confused by ur lack of loyalty. My mind refused to see the light, despite the fact its bright luminace stared me in the face. I can't comprehend how a true friend could turn double-face and bend so much truth int lies, lies that buzz around like annoying little fruit flies. Now, at the mere sound, when u speak, I feel rage bubble over, reach its peak. All this anger and no use 4 it, cuz I know it takes a better man to not show it. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Joe Hawley-Shepherd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
DARN!....you're right..it does take a better man not to show anger. i like this- its full of raw emotion...sounds like your friend is worth giving the flick. hope things get bettr for you joe...enjoyed the poem..  |
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xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Great way of expressing your feelings here!! I agree a lot with what cherish said as well..enjoyed this lots..nice work ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
The emotions you worked into this piece were quite strong. I think, however, that you could add to their strength by giving this poem a little more orginization. I liked the one-worded lines, they give you a pause to think about what you're saying, and, I thought in this case it made it all the stronger. Good write, keep 'em comin! |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
It's really hard not to show anger I know personally.But this is a very emotional piece I like it. Lauren "I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
I just found out that my best friend has been talking about me behind my back. This is retared if ppl culd just get along... GRR! we just wont go there It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh man!! This is fantastic!!I could relate to this completely. A better person doesn't show their anger, you're right 100%. But a smart person gets even eventually. Wow..thanks for sharing this. I love it. ~AF~ Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"All this anger and no use 4 it, cuz I know it takes a better man to not show it." How true is that?! But... then again, it's not good to bottle up the anger either. Writing about it is always a good thing!  This is well written piece and one that I know I can sure relate to! Well done.--Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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krystlebabe19 Junior Member
since 2001-11-09
Posts 27 |
I love this poem!!! I worte something so simlar its not even funny to one of my friends who was dating my boyfriend behind my back . I just wanted to say its nice to know your not alone. Keep up good work!!!! ~krystle~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
It's never wrong to show your true feelings of anger As long as you don't act stupidly about it you'll be fine I believe I know where you're coming from Trust is so hard to build but so easy to destroy thanks for sharing là où est mon amour? |
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