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Teen Poetry #5
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this pain
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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this pain |
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lone_poet707 Member
since 2001-11-17
Posts 70black hole named Aylmer |
Flames of hate are rising, anger bubbling over. Its intensity is surprising and difficult to hold under, under my skin, in my mind. I'm tired of being so kind. Don't wanna keep my thoughts unknown. Loyalty is breached, no solution can be reached. Calmness overthrown by rage, fueled by betrayal, alienation imminent, no sympathy for the loyal, Only hostility. Stinging words used malapropriately, truth tainted by gossip. One trying discreetly to sever the bonds of friendship. Rationality thrown away, this pain is here to stay... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Joe Hawley-Shepherd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
There are very few poems I put in my library but this is definatly one of the best I have ever read.I love this I know exactly what kind of pain you are describing and I also hold it inside me.But anyway I loved this piece and keep up the awsome work. Lauren |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
i think you did a really great job expressing this, excellent work. keep posting your work. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
The feelings in the poem were so deep, so explosive, I could feel you anger, bitterness, and pain. Very very well done! All I can say is wow... Sincerely, Titus |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i liked the word titus used "explosive"...its what this poem is. theres a lot of anger in this piece. your emotions came across powerfully. i just hope things get better for you joe.  |
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prov1717 Member
since 2001-12-26
Posts 74NE |
hmm can i go with "explosive" as well?  i enjoyed reading this poem, i love how you have expressed yourself so well, so deep.....i feel ya. well done!! |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
VERY GOOD POEM LONE POET! IT DEFINATELY DESCRIBES THE BITTER SIDE OF LIFE ITSELF. I ENJOYED IT A LOT! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Beautiful work expressing yourself. I loved this, because the intensity of the emotion is well done. This piece hit me hard. "I'm tired of being so kind." You're tired of being the doormat... being used and abused. Very familiar feeling to many, I'm sure. "Don't wanna keep my thoughts unknown. Loyalty is breached, no solution can be reached." Trust... aargh. A very hard thing, especially when you've been hurt before. Time and time again. Very nice job with this poem. I must say, I am very impressed, and I look forward to reading more. Thanks for sharing. --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
i liked this poem a lot! great work! robin repeat after me: punk is the best music ever created! [This message has been edited by poeticgirl01 (12-28-2001 03:04 AM).] |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
I will also have to steal the word "explosive". I thought the emotions literally jumped off the page at me. VERY VERY WELL DONE ~Nikki~ Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it... |
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