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deadeyes
Junior Member

since 2001-11-07

Posts 33

0 posted 2001-12-03 09:33 PM

The man looks in somewhat composure
to see the marks of burden in junction
his reflection marks a new found glory
of placidity in his troubled thought.

He incessantly stares his mask
and wonders his serenity
yet he has no trace or sign
that they have come to embark him away...

He steps off his glance
and looks and ponders the countryside
the sights of a distant past
the sounds of soliloquiy.

The mystifying comes from afar
leaving the man in blank speech
the unveiling of something glorious
the profoundness of a naked eye.

Suddenly it all makes sense
he seeks the unreal
and the unveiling of literacy.

The sight of a myriad
a new beginning.

rolly_polly
Junior Member

since 2001-10-10

Posts 41
puerto rico

1 posted 2001-12-03 09:42 PM

Wow....nice work here man

I had no idea you wrote so well....anyway keep it up

I thought the last two lines ended this perfectly...great job *applause*

~parallel universe~

Winston Froom
Junior Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 32

2 posted 2001-12-04 12:03 PM

Yes... Bravo. Deadeyes, my good fellow, Your verse is sovereign in this place. I bow to it (and take notes on it.

) "Troubled Serenity" is a fine piece of work. We will join our ink in Christmas. WAIT FOR MEEEE!!!

------------------ Your fellow.

[This message has been edited by Winston Froom (edited 12-04-2001).]

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-12-04 01:17 AM

Oh, indeed a most enjoyable piece of poetry. Such a wonderful expression of words and emotions. You are a wonderful poet, one to gaze upon in admiration from afar and to analyze up close.
Well done old bean!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

fulanodetal3684
Junior Member

since 2001-10-10

Posts 19

4 posted 2001-12-04 12:31 PM

Oh, deadeyes, are you just like me?? or however that one goes. This was wonderful!! Yes, and we do have to join on december for the "tertulias", hehe. I think interesting stuff will come out now that you both have compromised your art. I liked this one better than the other one. Keep it up!!

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

5 posted 2001-12-04 12:39 PM

very nice languagtee and imagery, you wrote this really well. good job on this, keep posting and replying.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

deadeyes
Junior Member

since 2001-11-07

Posts 33

6 posted 2001-12-06 09:12 PM

Thanks Winston Froom you're pretty talented yourself old chap. Haha those "tertulias" sound like fun looking forward to it.

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