He Loves Me"-For Marge's Challenge

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vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

0 posted 2001-11-30 09:13 PM

Hey guys, this one is for Marge's challenge....

"He Loves Me"

Across a field of lilacs spread,
A child sits in thought.
Plucking the petals from each blossom,
To determine love or naught.

Her cheeks are bright and lambent,
Flaxen curls surround her face.
Her delicate composition
Reflects an image of angelic grace.

Imperial blossoms surround her,
Serving as an improver to her beauty.
Yet, oblivious to this perfection,
She carries on with her crucial duty.

“He loves me”, she whispers into the breeze.
Subsequently, “He loves me not”.
The fate of the flowers foretell his love,
and all other sentiments are besot.

~*Nikki*~

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

1 posted 2001-12-01 12:37 PM

Awww so very cute.

I liked this much.

Jenn

"I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..."

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2001-12-01 10:28 AM

Nikki~
This is wonderfully and delicately penned.
Also have received it in my mailbox~
Thank you for the inspired piece ...
it's so much fun to see the different directions the same thoughts take in poet's minds.

I'm LOVING this~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Streen
Member

since 2001-11-28

Posts 169

3 posted 2001-12-01 10:42 AM

Hehe, I wish I could write on the fly as well as you do.

-Derek

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-12-02 12:36 PM

Wow, Nikki! This is a very well written piece. I would never guess that this was spur of the moment thing.

The flow of the poem was very well done. The meter was creative, and worked very well. There were a few places where the meter went off just a little, and that was distracting a bit, but that's nothing big. I'm having a hard time coming up with someone to critique here, so I'll just say that you wrote this very well, and leave it at that

You're a talented writer, and I look forward to reading more, hopefully soon! Well done, Nikki.

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

5 posted 2001-12-03 12:06 PM

very nice imagery in tis, i really like the way you ended it too. i think you did an excellent job on this.

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

6 posted 2001-12-03 01:53 PM

This was beautifully written...reminds me a lot of the song by Dream..."He loves you not"..hehe nice job

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

NathanS
Member

since 2001-09-27

Posts 106
CA

7 posted 2001-12-03 07:08 PM

Very VERY nicely done

I enjoyed it very much. I look forward to reading more writes by you.

-Dreys

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-12-09 12:01 PM

oh oh oh
I love this poem
You did really really really good
*standing ovation*
EXCELLENT POST

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

9 posted 2001-12-09 04:56 AM

This one is really good. It is so picture perfect like you can see what you are reading! Thanks for sharing it!!

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."

luvnkris
Member

since 2000-08-31

Posts 144
Perth, Australia

10 posted 2001-12-09 07:44 AM

I loved this poem, it was written so well!
Good Job
Love Jo

* never live a second without being grateful for all you have around you*

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

11 posted 2001-12-09 09:20 AM

Ahh, It makes me happy to see that in my absence some somewhat familiar faces have remained. Tis poem is very good, whats that I hear about it being off the top of your head? Well then, that makes it even better. It's a little like my old poems, abeit a little brighter. I like it.

Don't Drink and Park!
Accidents may cause People!

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (edited 12-09-2001).]

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

12 posted 2001-12-10 08:46 AM

*sigh* This is beautifully written, Nikki. You've taken to the challenge well. The images in this piece demonstrates how talented you are.

Thanks for sharing this. I enjoyed the read very much.

~AF~

"When I eat I feel. It is better if I don't feel, I am too afraid." - Ellen West

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

13 posted 2001-12-24 06:17 PM

"“He loves me”, she whispers into the breeze.
Subsequently, “He loves me not”.
The fate of the flowers foretell his love,
and all other sentiments are besot."

i loved that part...VERY well written, all in beauty. well done, Nikki.

Hey...#25437
What!
You in there?
Yea, im in here.
ok

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