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Teen Poetry #5
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Trapped Behind the Bars of Life
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Trapped Behind the Bars of Life |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT 
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Just trying out a new form here, let me know what you think of this. Thanks!!!  ~*Nikki*~TRAPPED in my own existance Hiding BEHIND a false identidy Searching for THE answer Buried beneath the BARS of infinity. Struggling to overcome the pain OF my strife But, in actuality, this Hell is my LIFE. *~Fighting for your love~* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Nikki - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I really liked this Nikki. Interesting form...and I love short poems, they don't give me a headache lol I liked the idea behind it as well... thought prevoking. Jenn "I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..." |
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Jezziekaka Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 58where the trees touch the sky |
vixengr104~ I loved this poem and the way you wrote it! It was so cool!!!!  Great poem!! Jezzika |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I like what you've done here. Very creative idea. I really enjoyed the style you wrote this. You had a little rhyming there, at the end, but I would probably suggest not using the rhyme, due to the fact it's such a short poem. The content you put out there is powerful, but at times, repetative. Watch that.. And the fact that the bolded word "OF" is off from the pattern is a little distracting. But, like I said, it is a very creative way to I like the idea, very creative thinking --Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I loved the way you wrote the poem But, still I'd rather see one of happiness If you need someone to talk to, just email me Hope things go your way thanks for sharing là où est mon amour? |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I love this whole concept, the higlighting of the words is very effective. I'd be careful about the ryhming at the end as it doesn't exactly fit but this is still an excellent poem. Zu "No army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe" |
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Jenabou Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 215Oklahoma/Nova Scotia Canada/USA |
This poem was really good Short but still powerful I really like this format The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
i like this new format! It's cool! The poem was a bit repetitive, but that didn't make it bad at all! I liked it, thanks for the read! - Rich Don't Drink and Park! |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Very interesting format but I loved it you have a very special talent.I can also relate to what your poem is saying which makes it even better so keep up the awsome work. ANd I can't wait to read more. Lauren "I just needed someone to talk to you were just to busy with yourself."-Staind |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
that was cool! i really liked the way u used that form...and i know how ya feel..good piece " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I liked thie different use of format...refreshing hehehe....good poem! Short and sweet!ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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