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Lisa_bebe15
Member

since 2001-11-15

Posts 151
Florida

0 posted 2001-11-29 10:07 AM

The heart never dies
It keeps showing and giving love
Until there is nothing left to give
My heart will never stop showing you my love
Unless I die
Until then, my love is forever
Endless
Never stopping
Unless turned off
By you some how

My heart is breakable
You tear it one way and don’t heal it,
I will never forget that you broke it,
And left me to die alone
By myself
Without help

You are the blood in my veins,
That keeps my heart going
Without you
I would not be here
With you at this time

I know my poem might need help..If you can..Please give me some ideas

"Water Over Matter"

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

1 posted 2001-11-29 10:12 AM

This was beautifully written...you poured your feelings and emotions into this and you really expressed yourself well...good job and im sorry ::hugs::

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-12-01 01:10 AM

I think that a good poem is one that expresses all the emotions that the poet wanted to express. It seems like you expressed your emotions clearly, and understandably. I'm sorry you had to go through this pain over only one person. I know it's hard, and it may seem like you can't move on, but I promise you will. Maybe even when it seems less likely you will...

Hang in there.

Actually... you know, when I started reading this, it reminded me of a great song - "Unbreakable Heart". You should check that one out

Very nice work.

--Marie

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

3 posted 2001-12-04 10:56 AM

An expression of one's feelings is always good to me
you were able to do this on this piece
you did really good, but still have space for getting better
keep writing, that always helps
thanks for sharing

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?

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