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Teen Poetry #5
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-Wanderlust-
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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-Wanderlust- |
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-Myriad- New Member
since 2001-11-24
Posts 6Canada |
Within the chilly air Inspired me, one fateful night To seek the stars so fair. The river runs in crystal streams That souly twists and winds And yet, within a pleasant dream I found a road entwined. A shadow guided every step Upon this winding road Yet close behind, desire crept That destiny bestowed. My longings for a season's touch Had painted over days That lead me far, a desperate clutch To keep me on my way. The winding road continued far My price for wanderlust I never found the midnight stars, My footprints, naught ...but dust. -Myriad- Infinitum [This message has been edited by -Myriad- (edited 11-26-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 -Myriad- - All Rights Reserved | |||
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hey! i really really enjoyed this! i think you wrote this REALLY well. the road you described and the journey to find the stars...was beautifully written. im looking forward to reading more of your work..  |
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DawnG 
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Nice write. Thanks for sharing. Dawn |
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Yoda Junior Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 19 |
Wow... from the very first line to the very last line it was just wonderful. The kind of poem you feel almost lucky to stumble upon. Thanks for sharing.  |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hooooly moses. Hold on a sec, I've got to perform surgery on my hanging jaw. All fixed...this was incredible. Very very similar to a style I once knew, with lots of the same favorite words, I think...you wrote this beautifully...In it goes to the library, and please please share more or I'll just have to cry.... ~Carly Speak softly and carry a beagle. |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
i agree with carlay. this reminded me of some of her work. and i absolutely /love/ her shtuff. so *clap* for you. great job.i think you did great. this is going into mah library as well. tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
The meter is excellent in this piece and word choice nearly perfect. you did a really excellent job with this, ive enjoyed the work youve posted thusfar. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Myriad....  *tries to catch breath* This is.... amazing!!! The vocabulary along makes this piece something, but the imagery added, and the virtually perfect meter, and rhyme... wowsers. This is wonderful..Ardent fires burning bright Within the chilly air Inspired me, one fateful night To seek the stars so fair. I love this stanza just because of the imagery. I, personally, absolutely love the winter. I sometimes go to this certain youth retreat where it's always very cold during the walk through the woods from campfire at night, and the stars and moon showing so very brightly... beautiful nostalgia! The river runs in crystal streams That souly twists and winds And yet, within a pleasant dream I found a road entwined. I really like this stanza. It feels to me like you lost yourself within a dreamland of water, and green... and then stumbled upon a completely different adventure. I may be completely off... but it's very beautiful thought. A shadow guided every step Upon this winding road Yet close behind, desire crept That destiny bestowed. The first two lines of this were awesome. It gave me the impression you were following the moon, the moon casting a shadow of your being behind you. Very beautiful... My longings for a season's touch Had painted over days That lead me far, a desperate clutch To keep me on my way. Determination... something everyone needs, and yearns for, many times in their life. The winding road continued far My price for wanderlust I never found the midnight stars, My footprints, naught ...but dust. WOW!! This ending blew me away... throughout the whole poem, you keep the reading wondering "where is this person headed? Will they find what they're looking for?" The ending doesn't just fall away, but leaves the reader with something to think about, to dwell on, and (hopefully) compare to their own lives. Very awesome job. This is the first I've read of you, but I definitely look forward to reading more. This will grace the top of my library. Beautiful work. --Marie If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the most frustrated people in the world are those who know they're stupid, but keep trying anyway. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
BEAUTIFUL! ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*standing ovation*~ là où est mon amour? |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
the voice within this poem is VERY beautiful and the tone flows well with the word choice...simply lovely read. Hey...#25437 |
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