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mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

0 posted 2001-11-20 06:57 PM

Alone and lost in a world I no longer belong in
Seeing everything fall apart.
As I stand alone because you can't understand where I'm coming from
I know you hate to see me sad and hurting like I am
But this time you can't help
You can't even share the anxiety.
Tears fall where you can't see them,
Where you can't crush them away.
I hide my face from the lies,
Yet looking them straight in the face.
And when you're not around,
I quake with fear
From the uncertain,
And cry when you shrug it off to "it's not going to happen to us."
In the darkness I let go of holding on,
I fall apart
Seeing images before my eyes.
You don't worry as much
Because it doesn't have a direct affect on you
And I know you don't think I should worry.
But telling a web of lies
To protect us
And living in the weakness of being consumed by fear,
Fear of ruined lives,
Fear of ruining us.
So here in the darkness, where you can't see me
I'll tremble as fears consume me
And shake and drown in tears
As I drift into insanity.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

1 posted 2001-11-21 01:29 AM

this is great glad i was the first one to get to read this one. i'll read more of your work and keep it up your good.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

DawnG

Senior Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 1494
United States

2 posted 2001-11-21 01:36 PM

Great expression you have shown us here.

Dawn

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

3 posted 2001-11-22 04:03 PM

Very dark, and a twist for your style, really. Some of the scenes were vivid, and yet some felt a bit cliche, like drowning in tears and quaking with fear. It doesn't hamper the poem, but it's something I noticed. I assume this poem was meant to be taken very literally, which makes these points of mine a bit invalid.
I found this expressive, but a bit uncreative. It was good expression though. "I let go of holding on" was a nice play on words.
Keep sharing, Misty.
~Allan

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

4 posted 2001-11-24 10:27 PM

Great poem and great expresion I loved it keeep up the awsome work.
Lauren

Jessica

Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 350
South AL

5 posted 2001-11-24 10:40 PM

Mistic~
OMG! I can't believe this!! This is EXACTLY what I am going through. Me and Heath (my boyfriend/fiance') has lied to me so much... but I don't want to lose him so I tremble in the dark... scared of losing him and being alone. I love him so much... and I try to forgive him but I still have to protect myself. He is my life... and I am his - that's why he lies is because he don't want to hurt me, even when he dosen't do anyhting wrong he , I guess, feels like he has to protect me from the truth... But I told him time and time again that nothing hurts worse than a lie. It just seems to come naturally to him. The good thing is he is trying to change his ways... we struggle sometimes but we'll get through it somehow. Thank you for writing this. You expressed my feelings so well... when I couldn't for some reason.

~Jessica

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

6 posted 2001-11-29 11:32 PM

thanks for replying everyone

and Jessica, I'm glad I was able to put your situation into words for you

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