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Teen Poetry #5
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Hopeless Love
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Hopeless Love |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180
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I'm lying in my bed Wishing you were here My hand runs over the sheet It's almost like I expect you to be there And can't figure out why you're not It's almost like I can hear your breathing ..Feel your skin What I feel for you It scares me I care so much I need you so much Sometimes I even see you When you're not really here Out on the street Or sitting in a chair I see your smile It seems so clear Althrough I know you're not there And you never were... I have never seen you Never held you Never falled asleep in your arms Never touched you Yet somehow, we know each other so well I know your voice The way you laugh The way you cry Even how your voice sound when you smile We cant be together It's too many things We cant work it out Not now.. You say you will wait Should I belive you? Im afraid that in some years All is changed And I will lose you.. It's not what I want. I don't know what to do Feel like Im drowning I think about you all the time I miss you Long to be whit you To sleep by your side By now, you mean so much to me I can't let you go but yet, I cant wait forever When will you be here? Will you ever be here? I know nothing You ask me to stay strong I wonder, for how long? Cant wait to see you Cant wait to hold you Cant wait to love you And I shiver... I fear tomorrow.. Another day I must face. Alone. Whitout you. |
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| © Copyright 2001 zarina - All Rights Reserved | |||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This was pretty good, Carina. I enjoyed the poem, and the emotions. You prtrayed such pain.. very sad. Nice work. Keep sharing your work with us  --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
this was interesting.. enjoyable read...if you wanted to you could of made this much darker.. but u did a good JOB! $ Jeff $ : ) |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Zarina- You have to be one of my favorite poets on PIP right now. I love your work. This was , yet another, Fantastic write. "I don't know what to do Feel like Im drowning I think about you all the time I miss you Long to be with you" Yet another poem of yours I feel as though I can relate to. Keep posting. |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Wow, that one was really good. I can relate to this one a little bit... I really enjoy reading your poems. Keep postin!  - Cody - |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great poem...i loved this poem...and the last verses..just..wOW...the whole poem..protrayed so much ...i enjoyed this one greatly.[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-06-2001).] |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
this is only the 2nd poem ive read by you but i really like your style. so strong and emotional. great job, i definetly look forward to reading more so keep posting *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
Thanks alot.. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
In the end of the poem, when you say "and I shiver".....I know that shiver like it was a regular body function for me. I know it too well. I really liked this poem.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Wood_Stock Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 58The little yellow |
Hmmm.... Well, first of all, I gather you are talking about someone who is not real? (or is it someone you can never have... hmmm.. *strikes thoughtful pose*..!) Anyway, I spose it doesn't matter much, apart from the fact, I feel the same quite often. Infact, it was kinda scary reading what I felt (somewhat) coming from another person... Though I feel it about my girlfriend. Anyway that's another stroy I won't bore you with.... I thought this was a brillient poem. And if it's not your best (I think someone said), then I am greatly looking forward to reading something better... heh heh. Anyway. I'm off. Wood_Stock. |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
wood_stock: Oh, he is real enough.. It's just that I've never met him. And to be in love with someone you've never seen, that's just.. patetic. I feel a little stupid, heh.. don't know if I ever will meet him..but I guess I will.. Well. It's kind of a long story.. Rest of you folks: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for responding |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
Wow, this was a poem full of emotion and very well structured, you should be very proud! Keep writing  ^*~Kicking Kim~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
I loved this. Great job here. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
~~zarina~~ hey wonderful poem =) don't feel pathetic, a lot of people love others they have never met. the person i love most lives in alabama while i live in wisconsin, but that doesn't mean that i can't still love him. great work on this one, and i hope ya figure this all out. -fear- |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Your poem shows such feelings in em. I feel so bad that you're in such a situation. Things do get better ya know. hang in there. thanks for the beautiful read. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This, like most of your poems, was very emotional. I really enjoyed it. Great job! |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
This was beautiful and seemed very emotional. I hope that you find that special someone. Until then keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front." |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
This seemed to show something as in you know there is something there but you just can't touch it. It added a display of emotional when that was there. /Nick/ |
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